THE JC PEOPLE

Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

2010-07-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

Why? Because you have too. The world doesn't stop just because I want it to, so you have to keep moving.

So that's what we've done, however unwilling at times.

Your baby measures up to an avocado, now, and weighs 3 1/2 ounces. (Length: 4 1/2 inches, head to bottom.)

So there. We're having an avocado.

Where are we now?

2009-12-06T23:47:00.000-08:00

So. This is the first post I can really make since Linc died.

I'm going to babble, I can feel it. Please forgive any of the following incomprehensible mush. I really just need to put it somewhere.

There are so many things that can happen that don't enter your mind when you decide to have kids. There are so many things you still don't know once you have them. Would I have decided to play the infertility lottery if I knew this would be where I would end up? Probably. Will I play it again? No idea.

I still can't believe that this has happened to our family. I had to take a good long look at the world at large to comprehend how many people things like this happen to. After I had hard evidence in front of me, I didn't feel comforted, I just felt sick. All these people in the world, walking wounded. All of us trying to figure out how to be real, breathing, feeling human beings again. All of wondering how to pretend that things matter, feeling like frauds when we can't make other things matter. Driving ourselves crazy wondering if we are further damaging the other people in our lives when we are locked inside this vicious grief and only see the rest of the world when lack of air forces us out of it.

Nobody is telling me anything I don't already know. I know my faith, family and friends are going to carry me through this. I know that there is always help available. I know, and appreciate, the reminders that my loved ones are there for me. Unfortunately, when it is a quiet moment, time to try to sleep or when I'm waiting for something, I am entirely alone. Everyone is still there, God is still there, but I am stuck with me and sometimes I hear me louder than I can hear anyone else. The me that is still curled up in a ball, rocking and tearing at her hair is screaming "I can't live through this! This can't be happening, because if it is, I have to die." Then I have to argue with myself to keep moving. I'm not saying I'm going to stick my head in the oven, I'm just saying that it's a good thing that people can't will their hearts to stop beating or I wouldn't have lasted through the first day. I sometimes can't remember what I live for, or why. All I can do is realize that I'm about to have a bad moment and watch the world around me fade away. When the grief hits it's like a giant blanket that insulates me inside myself with these horrifying emotions and isolates completely. I can't hear anything, see anything, feel anything but what is inside me. Oddly enough, dealing with the loss of my baby is incredibly similar to my labor and delivery with him. I find that both poignant and obscene.

I don't know yet, in my heart, if I can live without him. Part of me is afraid that my life from here on is just going to be a waiting game. I'll play along, do my best to look like I'm really alive, but I'll just be passing time. I feel sure that wouldn't be good.

When I'm not sucked into this grief, I'm so thankful I surprise myself. I'm thankful that I had Lincoln in my life. I'm thankful that I don't ever have to worry about him again, that he's in the safest place in existence. I'm thankful that I appreciated my time with him so much, and that he knew that I'd rather be where he was than anywhere else. I'm thankful that I finally felt like a real mom with him, instead of the inept, inadequate mom I felt like I was with his older brother. I'm thankful for the faith that is in me, the people God gave me to support and uplift me. I'm thankful for my husband, the only other person who feels almost exactly what I feel right now. I'm thankful for my older son, who has accepted this with a faith only a child could have. I'm thankful for God's promise that Lincoln and I will be reunited, and the faith He gave me to trust in it. I'm thankful for God's power to make life and death decisions, for His wisdom in seeing a picture so big it is beyond our comprehension, and for orchestrating all of life according to that wisdom, not our human wishes. I'm thankful that He made me who I am, and sent me all these wonderful people who help me just by being who they are. I'm thankful He reminds me that we all suffer, and that if we are smart, we will suffer together instead of choosing to suffer alone.

Most of all, even when the only footprint I can see right now is a post-mortem print of Lincoln's, I'm thankful that I know that God is carrying me.

For Lincoln

2009-12-01T17:27:00.000-08:00

The Broken Chain

We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

--Author Unknown--

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T11:41:00.001-08:00

Gratitude and thankfulness today. Blessed with the bountiful abundance of love, support, generosity. God has blessed me with the best family, genetic and chosen, that a person could ever wish for. God has blessed me with strength and endurance. God has blessed me with Truth. He has blessed me with His love and sovereignty and made me thankful that we truly belong to Him. He has blessed me with a heart to feel, a mind to reason, a soul that calls out to Him. He has blessed me with an understanding of the true depth of love. I have been blessed with the experience of all the facets of love, both the joyous and the crushing. I have been blessed. God's greatest blessings to all of you.

The latest of the late

2009-09-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

So. We've been in the new place for a while. It's sorta coming together. Work is busy. Some aspects of the homelife are kinda hinky.

However, Linc just turned 2! Some pics for you!!

Obviously, Linc liked his cake. He very much enjoyed eating it and fingerpainting it. I've spared you from the picture that shows what that bath did to the tub. He is now a two year old, may God have mercy on us all.

HIYA!

2009-08-06T19:29:00.000-07:00

Hey guess what?!?! I'm back! I have really fast internet!!! I will be able to load pictures (if I remember how) and update everyone! How exciting is this?!?!

Yay!! Check it out:

How's that?!?!

Anyway, more to come!!!

I'm Baaaaaaack!

2008-09-21T22:22:00.000-07:00

But, unfortunately no pictures for you yet. Two reasons for this. One, my house still has boxes in it. And on it. And next to it. I can't put up pictures until it's pretty. Two, I only have the shittiest of shitty dial-up internet connections and just LOOKING at pictures online takes for-freaking-ever. Imagine how long it would take to actually load them here. I'm not saying it'll never happen, I'm just saying it'll have to wait until I can find the right time. A time when I have a while to sit here and curse and nurture my patience with alcohol. It'll come eventually, no later than the end of the month because I'm a hell of a lot less likely to have such a time after the hubby gets started on school. I have no doubt that he will then turn into the biggest weenie on earth who is SOOOO much more tired than I am, never mind that my new clients are much more inclined to beat on me than my old ones. This has already been proved, incidentally.

So, life here. Yeah, not sure yet. It's pretty. It's quiet. But, it's not without issues. There's the neighbor thing. The work thing. The house thing. The car thing. The being without my friends and family thing. That last one is the current big one for me. My mom came to visit me over the weekend and when she left it was decently rotten. I have thought many times that I'd give anything to turn back time and tell the hubby that he must have lost his frickin' marbles. Not only can I not do that, but I can't in good concience even tell him that I'm struggling with this. It's a little late to throw a big batch of resentment his way. After all, I've put up with his school crap for the last five years or so. I got to spew in a big way after that last shit-storm he lobbed my way. Now? I get dragged to this place, where I'm without most of the important people in my life, in a new job, away from my children most of the day, with a dead car, living in a house that I'm fighting the insect population for, and I feel like I can't do this for five more years, let alone one. I know I'm probably being an ungrateful asshole, but after the week I've had I can't make myself care. I know that the hubby isn't aiming our course in life, and if I wasn't having a weak (and miserable) moment I could chalk this up to the momentary failing of my faith that it is, but I'm just too ground down to do that right now. Right now, this just feels like an enormous mistake that is too huge to correct. It's not a good day for optimism, which for me is really saying something. Hopefully, I'm better tomorrow, because I can't handle feeling like this all the time. I'd go nuts.

That being said, or purged really, I'm going to sign off for now. I'll be back with some photos soon. Lets just hope that none of the photos include anyone I know being burned in effigy.

The last post from home.

2008-08-29T22:10:00.001-07:00

Thanks for everything! It's been great!

So, see ya when I see ya!

2008-08-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

This will probably be my last post for a while. As my loyal (2, sweet!, but sad) readers know, I'm moving to a smelly, funkified land far, far away.

This is taking up a lot of time, and soon my computer will be in a box. I can't post while my computer is in a box.

So, just so y'all know, I love ya, will miss ya, and I'll be back on here as soon as I can. Assuming this doesn't kill me, that is.

In the meantime, I expect you to behave yourselves, and I expect you to miss me soooo much that it keeps you up all night and you start to waste away from the pining.

Or. You could just sniffle a bit. Yeah. That'd be cool too.

Oh, just forget it.

2008-08-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

The last couple of months have been the kind of months during which everything goes wrong.

Everything.

The latest in this string of wrong-goings was my oldest son's appointment with the pediatrician. Turns out, my six-and-a-half-year-old son is losing weight. He's already the skinniest kid his age I've ever seen, and apparently the Adderall he's on has caused even less appetite, resulting in weight loss. This is the thing I was dreading the first time we were told it was a possibility with ADHD medication. I mean, he's already the son of parents who were both scrawny as hell for most of their lives, he (just like us) either doesn't notice he's hungry or forgets to eat when he's busy, he (just like us) has a severe and gerbil-like metabolism, he (just like us, well me, anyway)likes fruit and veggies and things that are good for him but not terribly high in fat or calories. I've had to start researching what a nutritious, high fat, high calorie diet looks like. The bummer part is that he eats a lot of the things on the list, just not in any great quantity. We eat cheese, meats, milk, ice cream, and the like often. He's just not eating much of them, or not enough apparently. I keep telling people I can offer and put the food in front of him but I can't make him eat it. I really can't. I'm concerned that people will start to think I don't feed him at all. I mean, geez, he's the skinniest kid around and my youngest is not even a year old and he's the size of a two-year-old. It looks weird, even to me. He was the skinniest kid at swimming lessons. He's so skinny he doesn't float. At all. How freaking skinny do you have to be not to float?!? Well, his head floats, but I'm not sure that makes me feel any better.

Anyway, the doctor gave us some supplemental powder stuff that is supposed to help and I asked the hubby to pick up some PediaSure on his way home. If anyone has any other ideas or recipes to help with this, I'd be grateful. I thought I'd see about instant breakfast too. Maybe one of each with every meal during the day? Plus snacks? Hmmmm.....

Random Crap.

2008-08-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

Today has been a weird day. Aside from all the icky, stressy stuff I'm dealing with, I've laughed harder today than I have in a long time. Why? Check some of this stuff out and you'll see.

Cakewrecks

You Had Me at Idiot

So Close

So funny! I read all the way through the first and just laughed my heinie off. The second made me laugh so hard I was actually hunched over at one point with my hand over my mouth laughing so hard I was crying. The third, well, she's always got something good to say.

Moving on, I'm somewhat addicted to catalogs. I've never ordered from one, but I love to get them. It's like window shopping from the comfort of home. They kinda confuse me though. First off, sweaters are my favorite article of clothing next to jeans. I love sweaters. They are warm, comfy, can be casual or dressy and can hide a multitude of flaws if you're careful about the cut. I think we can all agree, however, that a sweater is a cold-weather item of clothing, for the purpose of keeping warm. Because I believe this to be true I don't understand why clothing manufacturers label shirts as sweaters when they are cut low enough that one's belly button is visable. How does that keep me warm? Is cleavage (not to mention rib cage, waist and abdomen) really a cold weather accesory? Added to that is the fact that all the really good sweaters, the ones with high necks, long sleeves and a long waists, are either a hand wash item or a dry clean item. All the rediculous sweaters that I would never wear were machine wash. Figures.

The other item that I find frustrating is pants. I have longish legs and a smallish waist. This is not a good combination unless you are rich enough to spend $200 on a pair of jeans. For broke people like me it means that I am constantly trying to find a pair of jeans that are inexpensive and small enough in the waist WHILE being long enough in the legs. If I were to choose a pair of pants that fits perfectly while standing up I could get away with 34 inches. I like my pants to be a bit long at the ankle so my socks don't show when I'm sitting so I generally prefer 36. The problem with most jeans for women is that you don't get to pick the length. I'm not sure if it's generally thought that all women of a particular waist size have legs of the same length or what. Well, I found a catalog that specializes in women with long legs. Unfortunately, it is full of mom-waisted jeans and pants, Victoria's Secret-esque tops and all of it is selling for a small fortune. Thanks for nothing.

Today around lunchtime I put my youngest in his highchair for his midday snack. I then went to the bathroom to pee and did the worst wipe job ever because I heard him choking. I ran back to the dining room (while buttoning my pants) to save my baby to find him grinning at me. He then returned to his new hobby of gagging himself with his fingers repeatedly while I sat in a chair and tried to keep my heart in my chest.

It's been a really interesting day. And it's not even close to being over.

A Request.

2008-08-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

For my SIL. She needs prayers, y'all. She's in a hard place, and her family too.

Send them her way, will you?

I'm with you, sis. I know how this feels, and I know it's bad.
Time is on your side, your friends and family are near you,
and God continues to hold you close to his heart.
Love you.

Crafty crapola.

2008-08-05T13:06:00.001-07:00

This is the hat laying flat.

This is the blanket stitching on the bottom.

This is the cross stitching on the top.

This is my very annoyed son being the model!

FEED MY FRANKENSTEIN!!

2008-08-01T08:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my fabulous SIL, I got to see Alice Cooper in concert last night!

It was an awesome show and I enjoyed every bit of it! As the original shock-rocker he didn't disappoint, the stage show was killer, the music was great and the crowd was totally insane.

However, I bet all the morons who didn't bother to find out who Alice Cooper is or what kind of show he puts on felt really stupid for bringing their toddlers, as they should.

Dumbasses. Witness, part of the show:

Does this look like the kind of guy you want to explain to your kids under the age of ten?

Added to that was the moronic woman who sat behind us who actually wanted us to sit down because she couldn't see. Too freakin bad, lady. This is an Alice Cooper concert. If you wanna see you either need to stand the hell up, like everyone else, or get a concert dvd and watch it at home. Better yet, stay at Munch 'N' Music, where you belong.

Narcissism Central

2008-07-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

I am pissed off today. I'm not going to say I woke up that way, it would be stupid considering I'm never amiable before I've had my first four cups of coffee. However, now I am pissed. And annoyed. And generally disappointed with humanity, or at least the shallow humanity in this country.

What is it that matters so much about weight? I get that to be very large can be a real blow to your health, but beyond that why do we care so much? There seems to be a real hostility blooming (festering?) towards the bigger folk in our society. My SIL once sent me a link to a news program about the cartoon movie out about the samurai panda, whatever the heck it was called. Some pointy-faced, bony, blond, pinch-lipped prude was going on and on about how the movie promotes, for lack of a better word, fatness. Are you freaking kidding me?!? Nobody said a word about violence or language or any of the other things that would actually help me decide whether or not my kids should be allowed to view this movie. It was all about how this evil movie made it sound okay to be fat. First off, prude b*tch, giant pandas are no lightweights. Females usually weigh slightly less than 220 pounds while males can reach 250 pounds. They spend between 10 and 16 hours a day finding food, and they require about 80 pounds of food a day. Guess what else they do? They eat the food they find and they sleep. While people seem to think that pandas are vegetarian because the eat a lot on bamboo, they are actually carnivores, and they are as dangerous as any other bear. What does this mean? It means that if a panda heard the pointy prude calling him fat he would feel free to very capably kill her and eat her for dinner. This would work out well since she's so insubstantial he'd just think she was an excessively wiggly bamboo stalk. And if he didn't think she'd be tasty, and I couldn't fault him for that, he could just sit on her.

Secondly, since when does a string bean who has no medical or dietetic degrees even get off judging what makes someone fat? Dom Deluise was a big star for years, a truly funny guy and very likable. I don't remember ever thinking that since Dom was a big man, and successful, it must be ok for me to aspire to his size. I used to like to listen to Courtney Love and I never decided it was ok for me to try and become a violent, heroin-addicted, self-absorbed singer either. I like Ben and Jerry's but I've never thought it would be ok for me to try and become ice cream. I think it's far more likely that children will decide that they want to be a panda, a samurai or, in my son's case, a water tower because they are the biggest, that they won't even really comprehend the nonexistent issue of fatness. Or if they do they will want their poor, annoyed mommies to Google pandas to see what they are really like, like mine did after one preview. What did mine decide after we had sufficiently educated ourselves on the panda? That they are really cute and that he wants a stuffed one. What does this mean to my overall rant? That the pointy prude is so afraid of getting fat herself that she is willing slam a kids movie on a nationwide news show. What a self-important little prig! I'd be willing to bet that if she has any of her own kids they are well on their way to eating disorders. And too, what the hell is wrong with showing kids that people come in all shapes and sizes, but that their shape or size really has no importance?

Something else that annoys me is when someone famous loses a bunch of weight and is immediately lauded as some sort of hero, no matter if they accomplished it with gastric bypass or whatever. Star Jones Reynolds, for example. I thought she was really pretty on the View when she was heavy. She had a lovely face and I fully admit to paying little to no attention to her figure. She lost a bunch of weight, was photographed extensively and proved a few things to me. She looked lovely when she was bigger, she was never dressed like an insane hooker when she was bigger, and that she has a face that was never, EVER meant to be skinny. She looks like Michael Jackson. There is nothing left of the person that I used to admire on the View. Wynonna, on the other hand is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful ladies I've ever seen, and I think her weight is part of it. She is lush and rich everywhere, her hair, her face, her body and her voice. Ann Wilson from Heart is also beautiful. Her skinny sidekick? Not so much. Queen Latifah is drop-dead gorgeous and has a glamour unmatched by any of her scrawny contemporaries, if you can call them that as there are few successful actresses with a music career like hers. All these fabulous women just prove to me that we are not all meant to be the same size. Also, are you aware that there is a movement to make Santa skinny? Fat Santa apparently also teaches children that fat is ok. It's a good thing Mother Theresa and Ghandi were skinny or they'd be out on their bottoms as influential folk. They were smart enough to know that starving does wonders for the figure!

Finally, I would like to point out that the vast majority of skinny women I've met in my life were so absorbed in their looks that they had an astonishing lack of character. They weren't especially honest, nor friendly and they seemed more interested in themselves than anything else. I met many who drove themselves into irreversible debt to keep their closets and cosmetic cases stocked and they never seemed to be able to manage a meaningful relationship with another human. They tended towards cattiness and competition and were mostly two-faced. The friends that I've enjoyed who couldn't fit into a size two pair of jeans have mostly been loyal, honest, intelligent people who sport great humor and a willingness to work at friendship.

So what's wrong with being fat? Nothing, unless you're a stupid, skinny, materialistic, jackass with nothing better to do with your time than nitpick a children's movie looking for imagined slights to your anorexic lifestyle.

That is all.

Um, does this fool ever get it?!?!?

2008-07-21T15:08:00.000-07:00

Hi Willis, you vacuous jackknife. Get a life will you?

Signed, ever disdainfully,
Query

The funnest 4th ever? Not quite.

2008-07-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

So. My dearest pal absconded with my oldest and treated him to the parade and to a festival that apparently involved food and face painting. Witness exhibit A:

This was a great thing since my youngest wasn't feeling up to the challenge and I doubt we would have gone anywhere because of that. Corb had a great time and talked of nothing else all afternoon. Linc was clingy, fussy and apparently constipated all day. He pooped several times, bunny nuggets mostly (thank you for the term, SIL), and didn't clear the offending stuff entirely until late evening.
I thought his disposition would improve after that. I was sooooo wrong! He remained clingy and fussy and added in jumpy once the noise started. I don't know if it was teething, feeling icky or just developmental insecurity but it wasn't fun. Finally, he settled down and this is how he spent the 4th:

At least one of us felt at peace. Happy 4th y'all!

*Update* So, in the house-hunt. I have sent a number of e-mails to people renting out houses and I just got one back. I requested some photos and the woman sent me six. I was pleased until I found out that there were two of the front door, three of the kitchen from almost the same angle and one of the bathroom mirror. Ever so helpful, don't you agree? That one is no longer on my list.

An update about a whole lot of nothing.

2008-07-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

My week thus far.

Monday we were still recovering from the weekend with as little activity as possible.

Tuesday we wandered into town to go to a birthday party at the local bowling/video game/mini-golf/go-cart place and that was fun.

Wednesday my mom came in the early evening to see the kids and we went for drinks at the pub to catch up, since she'd just come back from New Mexico. She caught me up on the extended family and I caught her up on the college crap we are dealing with now. Got home from that, put the kids to bed and started a movie (License to Wed) which sucked. We watched maybe 30-45 minutes of it and then shut it off. I then vaccuumed the whole house (except the boys' room, they were sleeping in it) and spot cleaned all the carpets and rugs. They look much better today, but I think we'll still rent a carpet cleaner before we move and do them again. I'd like to move with clean rugs.

So, yeah. My week has been pretty boring so far, and I'm ok with that. I've visited with a few pals, but mostly it's just the daily grind. Here are some random photos for your enjoyment.

The housing scare..

2008-06-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, we received an offer for an apartment from the campus housing office. As most of you also know, there were many things about this offer I was less than excited about. There were no W/D hookups, the nearest laundry room was two buildings away, it was listed as a three bedroom that was less than 800 square feet, it was on the third floor, and they were giving us three business days to pay them over $800 for an apartment we couldn't even move into until mid August. Yeah, I was pissed.

So, like the sane, reasonable people we are, we told them to keep their panties on, we were going to drive over on Saturday and look at said apartment. They said great, call when you hit town and we'll have someone meet you. Sounds so simple, doesn't it?!?!

Unfortunately, simple was not what it was. We left Saturday morning and things looked good. The kids were doing well, Corb had lots of toys to keep him busy and we waited to leave until Linc was ready to sleep so he lasted about ten minutes or so and passed out. It was warm, but not too warm and the car was happily tuned up and running beautifully. We stopped at a lake of some sort on the way over to let the kids out and Corb happily threw rocks and driftwood and we hiked a little ways up the river feeding the lake and basked in the cold air the rushing water provided. We even dipped Linc's toes in, but he didn't like that. Oh well, we tried. After a short jaunt we headed out again, stopping to grab some lunch. We hit town at about somewhere between 1 and 2:30 and called the housing office. Guess what? They couldn't meet with us until 8. That's right, if we wanted to see an apartment we had to wait until 8pm! I was, needless to say, a little annoyed. Do these idiots not know that my kids go to bed at 8:30?? Grr. But, what choice did I have? So we said fine, decided to bag all responsibility and drove to the coast.

The coast? FREEZING!!! The temperature was measuring a high of about 101 degrees in Eugene so it was nice at first. We had to buy sweatshirts at the coast as we didn't know we were going to be there and hadn't packed anything but extra shorts and t-shirts for the kids. After blowing about fifty dollars on crap off the clearance racks we headed for the beach. We got the children all bundled up (luckily, I did bring a million blankies and so Linc was wrapped up like a burrito in his stroller) and wandered down the beach. With the wind chill I figure the temp was somewhere between 35-45. It was seriously cold. We didn't stay long, jumped back in the car, cranked the heater and headed to Dutch Bros. We loaded up with coffees and cocoas and drove back to Eugene. The kids were still doing great in the car and I was starting to become a little nervous about it. How long could this last?

We got back to Eugene with a little time to spare, found a grass courtyard at the apartment complex and let Corb play while Linc snacked on a blankie. Incidentally, the best place for Linc to sit and be ignored is on a blankie on the grass. He hates grass so much you couldn't get him off that blankie with the promise of a million sharp things to put in his mouth. So, Linc snacked, B and I talked and Corb filled his pockets with play yard sand. Eventually, the housing gal showed up. Her name, I kid you not, was Abra. As in, Cadabra. I swear. She walked us around the complex, which looked decently clean and nice. I was even impressed with how many families were out playing on the grass at that hour. Then she showed us an apartment. I suddenly understood why all these people were outside. One must go outside when one must escape the depression brought on by the darkest, most cramped little caves possible to live in. There were five tiny windows, one in each room. I got an impression of the color of the carpet, it looked dark but I can't be sure. The kitchen was about one quarter of the size of my current kitchen and the living room was about one third the size of my current living room. I'm not sure our queen bed would fit in any of the bedrooms but by way of consolation Abra informed me that none of the closets have doors so you can put shelves and things in them. Huh. The only thing in the apartment that looked normal size was the bathroom. The ceilings were low and the living room and kitchen windows failed to give off any light because they were directly under staircases. The floors were that unforgiving combination of carpet over concrete and the entire place was just dark, cramped and depressing. We waved Abra off after thanking her profusely for her time, got back into the car and just sat there for a minute. We turned to each other at the same time and said "NO!"

We got something to eat and headed home. The kids fell asleep after about twenty minutes in the car and slept the whole way. B and I talked and watched the lightning storm we happened to be driving under. We decided that since we are allotted the same amount of money for housing whether we live in campus housing or not that we are going with not. After some online research it's very obvious that there are much better, cheaper places to live and some of them are actually pretty close to campus, and come with a washer, dryer, dishwasher, yard and so on. All within our budget and all places the Flintstones wouldn't feel at home in. We even found a three bedroom HOUSE that has a two car garage, a huge backyard, a fireplace and all appliances that is well within our price range. So yeah, no hole in the wall for us.

All in all, a very educational trip. I got to see why this university is the way it is and I learned that my youngest loves being in the car.

Not bad, really.

The crazy place I now live in.

2008-06-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

I thought this was going to complicate things enough:

But then this came along:

Yeah, I'm in trouble.

Updating!

2008-05-30T12:12:00.000-07:00

Here are the newer photos you've all been waiting for!

Cute, eh?

Off we go!

2008-05-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

So. This weekend we are off to Eugene to look at housing (of the campus variety) check out the area and attend the DH's orientation. I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised by the housing available, it's location and it's proximity to a good elementary school.

I had hoped that we would be able to get into the DH's grandparents house as it was vacant for some time but it seems that one of his cousins (?) is now living there with her boyfriend.

I'm thinking this will actually be a good thing as we've had a bit of trouble lately with the boys sharing a room. My oldest has a bit of a cough and it's been waking up the youngest who starts crying which wakes up the oldest and then they wake us up.
Yay for all the middle of the night fun. It is now much harder to deal with since the youngest has been sleeping all the way through the night for a little while now and I admit that I have gotten somewhat used to it. DH put a three bedroom as our first choice on the housing application followed by a four bedroom, then two and so on. Our last choice is an apartment and I'm fervently praying we don't end up in that!

I'm busy trying to figure out what the boys need to spend the weekend at Grandma's house. The oldest is pretty easy, the youngest is significantly less so. He's pretty stuck in his routine so I have a feeling we'll end up packing about eight million pounds of stuff so that he doesn't give her too hard a time. It will be a little easier as we've decided to take them out and come back to the house so DH can have a quick look at my car (it's having a little trouble), I can go to the gym, we can grab our stuff and hit the road. I was somewhat concerned about packing their stuff AND our stuff into that tiny little car and still having room for car seats and human bodies. I figure that will work out the best since the road to G-ma's house and the road we need to be point in two completely different directions. I'm pretty sure we'd have to come back this way anyway.

I will admit to all my usual misgivings about moving. I'm not a big fan of it, it takes me months to feel like I live somewhere. I think this actually qualifies as one of my major neuroses. I feel like I'm a house guest when I move. I'm somewhat uncomfortable in the shower, using the bathroom, changing my clothes and things of that ilk. I think some small part of my brain expects the people that really DO live in the new place to come barging in at any second and accidentally view me in my nakedness with embarrassment and humiliation for all. The rest of my brain knows it's not going to happen, we live here now. There are no other people in the house and of the ones that live with me only one isn't ever supposed to see me with no clothes on. I haven't ever found something that has combated this, but who knows? Maybe this move will be the one that teaches me to move with confidence and comfort.

The other difficulties I think are more reasonable. I'm concerned about moving so far away from my family and friends into a much bigger city and, of course, being surrounded by hippies who only shit organic wheat grass. I'm sure I'll be wildly popular. Can't you just see the look on the face of the first person that finds out that I don't believe in global warming? THAT, dear friends, should be a hoot! It will be fun to see how nonviolent these hippies really are. I've never moved with a kid so young and I'm thinking it will be logistically ugly. All the non-essentials are already going into boxes in the garage so I figure we'll just whittle away at it over the summer and hopefully there won't be much left to be done by the time we actually have to go. We have already been getting rid of things we no longer need for months so now it's just packing stuff we actually want to keep. I've been somewhat surprised by the things I've decided to keep in the past so now is a good time to reverse those decisions.

On a funnier note, DH came home yesterday and had been working with his shirt off. Those of you who know him are aware that he's almost an albino. He made a token attempt to put sunblock on his shoulders and then apparently got tired of that, put the sunblock away and got to work. He came home with a hilarious sunburn! His neck was all red as was most of his back but from about mid-shoulder blade to the bottom of his neck was pale. He has a stripe of normal skin that spans his shoulders. It looks like a red and white color block t-shirt. If it hadn't stung by the time he got home I would have laughed at him. I asked him why he didn't use the spray stuff and got the perpetually stupid "I dunno." Very funny!

Well, I'm off to continue packing up kid stuff. Have a good weekend everyone!

Other things I find randomly funny.

2008-05-05T14:20:00.001-07:00

I find this terribly funny. Who doesn't need a tattoo of a buffalo riding a bicycle? I can't imagine what this guy tells people when asked why he chose such a thing. I can only assume he likes being laughed at.

Would you take this guy seriously?

2008-04-29T17:05:00.000-07:00

Randomly came across this today and it struck me as funny.

As Seen....

2008-04-13T17:25:00.001-07:00

On a Chris Rock shirt:

"If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love."

That's the absolute truth, folks.

Special Bulletin

2008-02-23T12:12:00.000-08:00

Hey all my blogging buddies. I just wanted to let you know that I am taking a break from blogging for a while, at least here. I'll try to post some pics of the kids occasionally but I can't promise anything.

I'll miss this, and you all.

The gift of love, to the hubby...

2008-02-15T00:27:00.001-08:00

This is what I gave my hubby for Valentine's day with the help of my awesome friend Sabrina:

We thought it would be cool for him to have pics of us to hang at work or keep in his car! I think they turned out great!

Hey!

2008-02-07T16:31:00.000-08:00

Happy Lent y'all! This means that Easter is right around the corner and I am looking forward to spending it with my family at my bother and SIL's house.

Anyway, just happy Lent!

My late New Year's greeting!

2008-02-02T18:19:00.000-08:00

Yet again, pause my playlist at the very bottom before pushing play!

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Hee Hee!

2008-02-01T22:54:00.000-08:00

Scroll down to the bottom and pause my playlist before pushing play!

Don't send a lame Starring You! eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Home again, home again, jiggidy-jig.

2008-01-21T18:49:00.000-08:00

I am now a stay at home mom. A SAHM in the forum/blog world. Today was my first day. I can't say that it was exciting, like starting a new job usually is, but it was hectic in the same way.

My oldest had spent the night at his g-ma's place and wasn't home during the morning. This should have been a fabulous opportunity for me to get stuff done. I got Linc to go down for his morning nap with no problems and after that he was only up for about an hour before he started fussing again. Hungry? No. Needs a new diaper? No. Wants to play with me? Big no. I gave him his binky and sat him on my lap to see if he needed a cuddle and he immediately started showing signs of dozing off. I thought, well if he needs more nap he's gonna do it in his crib. I took him in, put him down and pushed the button for his waterfall/music soother thingy and shut the door behind me. He lasted just a few minutes before he was very vocally unhappy. I went in to see what the issue was and found him blowing snot everywhere and coughing on it and just having a miserable time. I knew he had a cold but up to today it wasn't really bothering him too much. I took him back out to the living room and wiped him off. I decided that he could start his nap on my lap and I'd put him back down after he was good and asleep. That actually didn't work. So I thought maybe I'd try his swing. I haven't really used it recently because I need him to learn to sleep in his crib and put himself to sleep effectively. I thought maybe the sitting position would be better for him. Turns out I was right! He slept for a good two hours and woke in a much better mood. I actually got most of the laundry folded and did all the dishes while he was out. I'm hoping that this is a sign of things to come and that I might actually be good at this SAHM thing instead of being disorganized and crappy at it like I was with Corb.

Now all I have to do is convince my hubby that just because I'm here all day he doesn't get to stop picking up after himself entirely. That should be fun.

Holy Shit!!!

2008-01-14T22:47:00.000-08:00

I'm 30 years old!

That's really all I can think to say about that.

To Sabrina.

2008-01-07T17:53:00.000-08:00

This goes out to my girl.

May God hold your heart and health in the palm of his hand. May He give you His comfort and care at this time in your life and may you feel His soothing love wash over you today and in the days to come. May He gift you with swift healing and hasten you to that ever important NEXT STEP so your mind and soul can rest with ease.

Much love and care to you, P-Daddy and the rest of your family.

Amen.

It could be a Hat! Or a Brooch! Or a Pterodactyl!

2007-12-30T13:28:00.000-08:00

Aren't scarves fun!

It's the Annual Hubby Bash!

2007-12-17T23:01:00.000-08:00

Ok. I am aware that I am picky beyond all comprehension and I'm ok with that. However. How hard is it to do your own dishes? Seriously? How long does that jackass think I want to spend standing in front of the sink? If a person decides to make eighteen batches of cookies then that person should do their own damn dishes. I don't think I should be the one to have to do nine hundred dishes I had no part in dirtying, especially if they weren't ever rinsed out. Don't I have enough to do with all the bottle washing I'm stuck with lately? I. Think. So.

Some of you remember the Peeps rant of a couple of years ago. This time, it's the Mallowmars. How on God's green earth can an average-sized man eat an ENTIRE package of Mallowmars while his tired wife is feeding the baby? HOW?!?! It is beyond human understanding. I stashed those for me! That jerk has more chocolate cravings than a menopausal divorcee. I actually had a moment where my blackened heart hoped they made him sick and the sheer glut of them would cause him to vomit up his toes. Ha! Bet they don't taste so good in reverse, asshat!!

Don't pick on me about sex. You get to sleep through the night. You didn't sqeeze a sqirming seven-plus pound baby out your hoo-hoo. You don't have to struggle to shift gears enough just to fall asleep. So my hormones are somewhat stop-and-go and your score rate is a bit erratic. Get over it. It's your soap and your junk and you can wash for as long and as fast as you like. Keep acting like a sulky first grader and the closest you'll get to this piece of ass is to smooch it right before I kick your teeth in.

FYI, I don't mind doing your laundry. After all, I do everyone else's so why should I care? However. I will henceforth be refraining from unballing sweaty socks. If you put them in the hamper that way that is how you will be getting them back. I don't care if they end up in your dresser drawer moldering and smelling of mildewed detergent, I consider this no longer my problem. If you wake up on a freezing cold morning and only have damp socks to wear, try not to wake me. That way you won't be offended when I point and laugh at you.

*This is merely an unburdening of sorts. I love my hubby, think he is well nigh perfect, but he occasionally pisses me off. This is how I vent so I can talk to him in a normal voice without using the F-word too many times. If he shines me on, however, he may just get this word-for-word.

Hilarious Holiday Hilarity!!!

2007-12-07T23:15:00.000-08:00

As circulated by the Associated Press and MSN:

NEW YORK - A luxury grocery store in Manhattan made a food faux pas, advertising hams as "Delicious for Chanukah."

Chanukah - an alternate spelling for Hanukkah - is the eight-day Jewish holiday that began Tuesday evening, and hams, as well as pork and other products from pigs, can't be eaten under Jewish dietary laws.

A woman who saw the mistake over the weekend at the Balducci's store on 14th Street took pictures of the signs and posted them on her blog.

Jennifer Barton, director of marketing, told The Associated Press on Thursday that the signs were changed as soon as the error was noted.

She issued an apology on the company Web site, saying the company would be reviewing its employee training.

Ha!!

Yes, I know it's been a while.

2007-12-06T14:14:00.000-08:00

You can't blame a girl for being busy. You can try, but I will slough off any attempt to blame and pretend I can't hear you. I may even cover my ears, dance around and shout "Na na na na I can't hear you!!"

Life is crazy-busy around here these days. Work, kids, house, high-maintenace hubby and so on. Who has time to blog? I'd probably do more of it if I were smart enough to set up the coffee maker next to the computer. Then I'd probably never leave.

Work is pretty good although it's somewhat disorienting to be there after such a long absence. I enjoy it but spending so much time there just makes the rest of my life crazier. Hopefully after we move it won't be an issue. I think our goal is for me to stay home and drive myself nuts with nonexistant household bacteria and poopy diapers.

Brandon will be graduating in June. His GPA is awesome and I'm super proud of him. He's a truly tenacious person.

Corbin is doing well in school. He's not hit Linc purposely since The Incident. Thank God. I've promised to let him live but I reserve the right to change my mind once summer vacation hits.

Linc is also doing well. He's up to around fifteen pounds and drooling like mad. He's still cheerful more often than not so it seems he's gotten my personality. I pretty sure Corb got Brandon's, nuff said. What a couple of poo-pooers.

That's the current info on my fam. We saw Trans-Siberian Orchestra with D and J and had the best time. They are the best people on earth to travel with and the show was amazing. We don't have anything fab coming up so we're just doing the daily grind.

On a sidenote, we are attempting to teach Corb about the merits of privacy, tact, and personal space. Ha. I must be glutton for punishment.

Hee Hee!

2007-11-22T09:56:00.001-08:00

Can I get a Whoop-whoop?

2007-11-19T21:56:00.000-08:00

Funny Myspace Pictures

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout!!!

Back to the grind...

2007-11-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

So. I go back to work on the 19th. In an odd way, I'm looking forward to it but that's probably just because I am unable to imagine it being any different than it was before. I'm sure I will be rudely shocked. I'm certainly not getting all the sleep I need, but I seem to have become used to that and can function reasonably well even on just a couple of hours. At least B will have to take a bit more responsibility for the state of our house (the dishes, specifically) if I am also working. I am absolutely dreading the first time we have a staff meeting as it requires one arrive an hour and fifteen minutes earlier than usual. I'm sure that we will all enjoy those mornings. I'm already trying to figure out what time we will all have to get up. I'm seriously considering downsizing all the crap in our house just to simplify things. It sounds like the folks at work will be willing to go easy on me for a while since it will be something totally new for me to deal with. I'm really glad that I have a good person for the care of my small monkeys, it makes me feel like it might actually work.

On another note, the dreaded Aunt Flo came back this morning. I didn't expect her so soon, and damn her for dropping by uninvited, but it does explain a bit about why I seemed to be getting smaller in the midsection and then larger again. I was also utterly shocked at the lack of warning signs. I had not a single cramp. Granted, I felt icky and tired but that is the new normal in my life. So I guess this means that things are galloping towards normal in reproductive land. I guess that's good.

Corbin is doing quite well, although he seems to think that if I am in another room I cannot hear him. This misconception didn't serve him well this morning when he thought it might be fun to rap his knuckles repeatedly on the TV screen. On the other hand, I'd hate to disabuse him of the notion as he will, all too soon I'm sure, start being a bit more stealthy and damn me if that kid ain't a spectacular liar these days. Are such things genetic? If so this must be my childhood revisited. I suppose the bright side is that he can grow up to be a car salesman, a lawyer, a polititian or maybe even an image consultant if he doesn't grow out of it.

At some point I will do a post that includes pictures, but I have to admit that I am becoming more interested in things that aren't about all things baby. I figure that's good. After all, I have to rejoin the rest of the world sometime!

Recent Funny Things.

2007-10-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

Overheard at the pumpkin patch from a mom dragging her son from the petting zoo:
"He's done! He kicked a pig!"

That's not something you hear everyday.

My son has a small tendancy to sleepwalk. He got up in the middle of the night, went into the bathroom, over to the toilet, emptied his bladder and went back to bed. The problem? He didn't lift the lid.

We decided to have frozen peanut-butter cups for dessert. I got two out for him and handed them off. He was way excited because he loves these things. He was halfway through the first one before I noticed something hanging off the cup. "Um, did you take the paper off that?" He hadn't, he had eaten half of it with the paper and not noticed. Even funnier? He blamed me for not informing him that they came with paper under the foil.

The baby was sitting in his bouncy seat having a merry old time. He sneezed a couple of times and I said "bless you" without even looking up. My oldest son asked me what the icky thing on the baby's face was. I went over to look, sure that it was going to be a shadow or some other nonexsistant thing. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the baby had sneezed out a giant, gooey booger that had lodged itself between his pacifier and his face. Pressed booger, anyone?

Happy Anniversary to Us!!

2007-10-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo! Nine years! That's so crazy. It really has been a blast, though. There's nothing better than spending nine years with the person who was meant for you, sharing life's ups and downs and being the kick-butt parenting team to two beautiful little twerps. I have seriously enjoyed the past 9 years of marriage with my hubby and am looking forward to many more.

As long as he stays away from my Peeps. ;P

Just some pictures.

2007-10-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

Just the two of us.

Kicking water all over mommy!

The eye of the storm.

Hello!

I should probably say that he just had his two month well baby appt. and is up to 11 pounds 9 ounces. His doc says he's doing great growing wonderfully. He had his shots, and that wasn't fun, but I always feel a great sense of relief since illnesses like pertussis are what my nightmares are made of. Anyway, happy he's developing well and such a cheerful little dude!

The Update of the Boy.

2007-10-19T18:54:00.000-07:00

Just FYI, I had this all ready to post days ago and my computer froze up. Hence, it is a little late. But better late than never, I always say.

Thanks for all the advice! We are following a plan of action we have thoroughly discussed. First, I got online and found some info on child abuse. We then showed him what child abuse looks like and informed him that this is what often happens to kids who run away from home. We talked about some of the stories available and when we got to end I asked him if he really wanted to run away. His answer was a resounding no! I told him that such horrible things happen to runaways he should be grateful to live in a house with parents who love him, treat him well and take good care of him. He agreed. I asked him not to say that anymore and told him not to even joke about it. He agreed to that too.

As far as the attention issue, I understand that he feels that this is unfair. I absolutely agree with him. Parenting more than one child is unfair. That's just the way it is. At almost six years old, he is able to entertain himself while I am busy. He has chosen not to do this. He has also chosen to break long-standing rules while at home. We have informed him that when he breaks these rules it causes his parents to become very frustrated. Frustrated parents are not likely to give him what he's after so it is in his best interests to avoid doing so. He is old enough, smart enough and quite capable enough to follow the rules and had been doing so admirably for quite some time. While I understand that he may need more attention I cannot in good conscience reward his bad behavior by giving him what he wants. If he gets sent to his room for back-talking or refusing to listen I am not going to go in there and entertain him. Discipline is not supposed to be fun or make him feel good. We still talk about why he is in trouble and remind him that since he knows the rules and chooses to disobey them, he has chosen to be punished. He knows that a crappy attitude, defiance, sassing, nagging, arguing, throwing tantrums, whining and lying get him into trouble. Lately he's been racking up every one of those on a daily basis. Sometimes it seems provoked by circumstances, sometimes he just does it for the heck of it. What's more, he absolutely MUST have consequences for these behaviors every time to maintain consistency.

That being said, I have offered him the opportunity to earn back a trip to the Pumpkin Patch by doing some chores and maintaining good behavior until Sunday. He's blowing it pretty badly so far, but you never know. He's allowed to earn back a toy a day with good behavior but he's lost every toy within a day or two of earning it back. The way I explained it to him is that he keeps pushing and pushing until nobody wins. That when he is in trouble we all lose. We lose time together, we lose fun, and none of us are happy or content. He seems to understand this to some extent. We'll just have to see where he takes it from here.

*Update* Corbin has improved mightily since I wrote this. He has even displayed some seriously selfless behavior, like forgoing outside play so he could be inside where I could hear him while I dealt with a baby that didn't feel good. He did so cheerfully and behaved wonderfully well while that happened. He got super kudos from his dad and me and seems more open to trying harder. Yay for him, and us!

Seriously?!?!

2007-10-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

So, life with two kids is definitely harder than I thought it would be. Not because I have two children that need me constantly, but because I have one that needs me constantly and one that has decided that since I have lots going on it's suddenly OK for him to break every rule he can think of. This fine morning, for example, I was still in bed with the baby feeding him when my oldest started the every-two-minute campaign for breakfast. I calmly informed him that he'd just have to wait and said "why don't you go play, I'll be out as soon as I can." Naturally, I became more terse and annoyed when he came back over and over again to find out if I was going to fix his breakfast now. Then he came back and I got a good look at him. He had apparently colored all over himself with a purple marker. He knows he's not supposed to do that. I told him to go get the marker, throw it in the garbage and go to his room. He blithely replied that it wasn't his marker, but one of daddy's pens, which he knows he's not supposed to play with. I wasn't sure I believed him since he's shown a great capacity for lying through his randomly-placed teeth these days. I told him to go get the pen and bring it in so I could see it. He left for about five minutes and then came back to inform me that he couldn't find the pen. I responded that he'd better find it or there was going to be trouble. BIG trouble. He immediately started whining that he COULDN'T find it anywhere and that it was lost and when was I going to make breakfast? I became irate. I quickly changed the baby's diaper and headed into the living room. After loading the baby into his swing for his morning nap I looked around at all the places likely to be harboring a pen that Corb had used. It wasn't in any of the usual places. I called my hubby and asked him if he had left a purple pen in the living room and he said he had but that it was a fine-point pen and not a marker. I was more convinced that Corb was lying since the marks all over him were fat, like those from a marker or felt tip, not a fine-point pen. Of course I couldn't find a purple marker either. After practically turning the recliner upside-down I found the cap to a purple Uniball pen. Ok, so it was daddy's pen. At this point, rules broken included coloring on himself, using daddy's pen, losing daddy's pen, and losing it without the lid since it is now probably staining the hell out of whatever it's on. I told him he'd better get started washing all the ink off. It only took sending him back to the bathroom five or six times to get him reasonably clean. I cringe to think what the washcloth and towel look like, I should check that. When I was telling him that he was in big trouble for breaking all these rules and that he needed to spend time in his room this morning he got angry and ran to his room, slamming the door as hard as he could. I couldn't do anything about it that second, as I was feeding the baby again, but he must have figured out that I was going to be seriously pissed as he appeared in front of me about two minutes later and gave me a breezy, offhand apology for being a "brat." I said he should be since he would now be forgoing the trip to the Pumpkin Patch planned for this weekend. I made him some waffles and made him eat them in the doorway to his room and then into his room he went. I figured that he would behave for the rest of the day, but that was apparently too much to hope for as I just had to go in again to take his cars away. I heard one hit the wall and went in to hear his explanation as to why that might be. First he lied and said it tipped over, but then I found the car under the crib about three feet away from him. He then said that he was playing with the car and it just flew over there. After telling him that cars don't "just fly anywhere" he admitted that he threw it. He lost his cars for throwing toys (against the rules and he knows it) and lying (ditto). That didn't stop him from threatening me while I was taking his toys away, though. At this point, I'm not even sure where we progress from here. He doesn't have much of anything left for me to take away. I made sure to tell him that he'd better pull himself together if he wants to participate in Halloween this year and that if he didn't I'd be taking his Halloween costume back to the store. He informed me that he will run away and kill himself (where the hell did that come from??) and that he doesn't care what I do. I'm getting to the point of being so tired of his behavior, which has been relentless for weeks, that I don't really want to be around him even when he is behaving. I'm tired of being lied to, disobeyed and disrespected. Especially since I work so hard to make sure that his life and all the things in it stay on track. I work on his homework with him, take him to the library, drive him all over hell and gone every day, tickle and wrestle with him in the evening when his dad gets home, and on and on it goes. I know moms are generally unappreciated but I think this is more. What could have possibly made him decide that the rules don't apply to him all of a sudden? Where did this blithe attitude come from? Where on earth did he even hear the "running away" and "going to kill myself" strategies? I'm at a loss.

This kid's cuteness is like Kryptonite to Superman.

2007-10-12T21:16:00.000-07:00

This is my current favorite shot. Dang, that kid is gorgeous.

Even though this one's a bit blurry, it's darn cute!

Yay!

2007-10-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

So I called B and found out that the stupid cord was in his filthy lunchbox so I was finally able to upload my photos! Bear in mind that these smiles happen quickly and unexpectedly so these aren't the best photos. I'll endeavor to get better ones so you can see how stinking cute this little turd is!

Caught this one as it was fading.

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!!

I love it!

Things I'm not thrilled about.

2007-10-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

1. B left half-full bowls of his dinner on the counter last night (not even near the sink) and went to bed.

2. They still haven't caught the crazy robber running around town.

3. I got some awesome photos of Linc smiling last night but neglected to make sure the photo card was in. The cable to hook the camera up to the computer is missing so I cannot download said photos and, hence, cannot post them here. Dammit.

4. My eldest child, having lost all privileges except breathing, has decided that he's going to follow me around all day since he has nothing else to do. I spend an obscene amount of time telling him to scamper off to his room before I wring his neck. He also thinks that if he can talk me into watching TV, he'll be able to watch it too.

On the upside, Corb decided not to eat his lunch yesterday. I informed him that if he didn't eat it he would have no food until dinner. He said ok. I had a moment of evil and decided that he could stay in the living room while I watched TV for grownups. He thought that was a major treat for him until I opted to watch Food Network all afternoon. By dinnertime he professed to be positively faint with hunger. So, naturally when I gave him his uneaten lunch for dinner he wolfed it down and then had some of what we were having. Yes, I am evil. I know it.

How the homework gets done.

2007-10-10T17:57:00.000-07:00

As you probably know, my hubby is a miracle of responsibility. He's very good at getting lots of things done, although he does suck most heinously at cleaning up after himself. Particularly in the kitchen. But that's not the point! No, the point is that he's very good at doing two things at once and I thought these shots of him doing homework from his Business Communications class showed his talent well.

What a guy!

Dropping like flies!

2007-10-08T13:55:00.001-07:00

Today Corb had a dentist's appointment. I made the appointment because I suspected that his previously damaged front tooth had become abcessed. Sure enough, it had. After an x-ray and a quick look the dentist decided that the best course of action would be to pull the tooth. I agreed wholeheartedly. The dentist did a wonderful job! He made the process entirely painless for Corb who handled the whole visit with great humor and poise despite the fact that he was scared spitless for the three days he had to wait for the appointment. He ended up with a fat lip which other than the missing front tooth is the only obvious sign that anything had happened. He did awesome and I'm so proud of him!

YES YES YES!!!!!!

2007-10-03T18:09:00.000-07:00

Guess what?!?!? I'm going to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra on December 2nd!!! With my brother and SIL and my hubby!! The kids are going to Grandma's house!! It's going to be sooooooo great!! I'm so excited!! This is the best possible way to kick off the Christmas season!! Seeing a super fantastic, double terrific show with people I love to hang out with!!! Yay!!!

Life changes.

2007-10-02T21:29:00.000-07:00

It amazes me how many huge life changes I have been through in the last few years. I thought I'd never survive the first few months of Corb's life. He was such a difficult baby. It was hard on all of us. I remember thinking how disorienting it was not to be able to imagine what the future would bring. It was the first time in my life that I couldn't picture my life in a year, or 10 years for that matter. When my grandpa died it was hard, but I could imagine that it wouldn't hurt as much in a year and would continue to ease with each year thereafter. I wasn't disoriented. Corb's arrival disoriented me so completely that I couldn't even imagine that it would get easier in a year. Of course, it did although I never regained my full equalibrium.

Things continued to throw me off after that. First we moved. This wouldn't bother most people, but I have an extremely hard time moving. It takes me forever to feel comfortable in a new place. It doesn't feel like "home" for months. After the move there were petty family squabbles, job changes and school. Then my dad died. That whole experience was so surreal. I remember thinking while watching him die that it couldn't really be happening. Things like that just don't happen to people like me. But it did, and I had to deal with it. Oddly enough, life went on just like it always did. Then Marie died. I coped better with that. I can only assume that I was something of a pro after dad.

Then we had all those miscarriages. I think I did passably well with those too. It was hard, but I had some great support and faith and that seemed to be all I needed. Then we actually had a pregnancy stick. It was both terrifying and exciting. It was a tightrope walk between not wanting to get my hopes up and remaining thankful for my blessings. By the end of the pregnancy I was so impatient for Linc to be born because I knew I would never believe that the pregnancy was 100% viable until he was safely in my arms. Obviously the labor and delivery were a shock to my system, I never believed it would work!

Now Linc is here. Only, this time is different. This time I don't feel disoriented by not being able to see the future. I'm excited. I'm eagerly looking forward to seeing the person he grows to be, how he and Corb relate to each other and what our family will be like with four members instead of three. I never thought that having a baby in the house could be less than insanely stressful as it was with Corb. I'm finding every day that it is so much easier this time and that I'm more qualified for this job than I thought I was. Not that it's never hard, or stressful, or frustrating. It's just so much easier. I don't second guess myself or drown in the fear of my own ignorance, like I did with Corb. I have experience. I don't know if all my methods are the right ones, but they seem to be working great so far.

I guess that's all that really matters!

First bath!

2007-10-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

Lincoln had his first bath last night. The wait was due to the fact that the umbilical stump came off in two pieces, with the second piece waiting much longer than the first! He wasn't ambivalent about the bathing process, he hated it from start to finish! That's ok, it wore him out and he slept great after that!

Can't tell how pissed I am?

Now you can!

How strange my life is becoming!

2007-09-22T19:23:00.001-07:00

I have one doing this:

And one doing this:

Yes, my oldest has lost his first tooth at the ripe old age of 5. And yes, that is the adult tooth coming in right behind it. I guess it makes sense, he got his teeth way early so he'll lose them early. I can live with that!

I am a human pacifier.

2007-09-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

Myths about breastfeeding:

1. It is convenient.
Horse puckey. The only time it is convenient is at night and only because you don't have to get out of bed.

2. It is good bonding time.
Yeah, only if you don't have any other kids and a million other things to do.

3. Babies who are breastfed aren't as gassy.
Again with the horse crap.

4. Breastfeeding is cheap.
Is not. It's costing us a lot for me to stay home and do it. Plus, I'm not getting anything done.

5. Breastfeeding feels good.
To who?!?

I'm not saying I'm giving up. I'm not. But there are definitly moments when it sucks. Today, for example. I've been nursing for an hour. With a five minute break so I could put some soup on the stove. Soup I probably won't get to eat. The more I nursed today the more I understood that I wasn't nursing a hungry baby. I was nursing a baby who thinks I make a better pacifier than his pacifier does. It's not that I don't want to comfort him. I do. Just not by spending all my waking hours with my boob in his mouth. I started really pumping in earnest today. Besides the electric double pump I have I am now the proud owner of a handheld manual pump that I am using in the shower. I'm getting some decent amounts so I'm hoping that this will either allow for Brandon to help feed sometimes or build up a supply. I'm trying to pump after every feeding although this isn't the easiest thing to do with the kindergartener wanting something from me every 5 minutes. So, while breastfeeding is great because it's so good for babies, it's hard, inconvenient, time consuming and stressful. You have to really commit yourself to make it work, and everyone around you has to be committed to helping you.

Counting my blessings.

2007-09-12T19:43:00.000-07:00

There are few things on earth better than being married to a man who is a great dad. I was blessed with a hubby who is very dedicated to his family and really enjoys getting family time. He prefers being home with us and isn't one to go out with friends or find other things to occupy his time. He'd rather be here than anywhere. The only real time consuming activity he participates in is school and I don't count that since the end result will benefit all of us. He works hard, studies hard and puts in a fabulous amount of time and work at home. He is truly a great husband and a great dad!

Ambivalent? Well....yes and no.

2007-09-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

Corb starts kindergarten on Thursday. I'm so excited for him, I think he'll love it! On the other hand, it just kills me to let him go. I know that once he starts school I'll never really get him back from it. He'll be in school (God willing) until he's at least 18. On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to half a day with just Linc. It'll be so nice to have the afternoons to focus on my youngest and to get things done around the house should Linc decide it's one of those afternoons where all he wants to do is nap. It does happen occasionally. I'm also looking forward to hearing all about Corb's school experiences. I've met his teacher and she seems super nice. I liked her a lot and so did Corb. I'm hoping that the other kids in his class will be great and that he will enjoy their company. I'm not looking forward to deprogramming out of him all the crap he'll pick up from kids with parents who are less strict than I am. I'm also not looking forward to those days when I'm trying to get Corb to school on time and Linc is smack in the middle of a meltdown. I know it's going to happen sooner or later. This is a true win/lose situation. We all win a little, we all lose a little.

Sigh. I'm going to miss that kid. My first baby.

Special thanks.

2007-09-08T16:30:00.000-07:00

We have a lot of people to be thankful for who were very helpful during my pregnancy, labor and delivery. First and foremost, Sabrina for being such a great doula, for putting in a lot of time during my pregnancy forcing me to think about and talk about a labor plan and what I wanted and then helping things turn out the way they did. Also for being such good and supportive company and a fabulous cheerleader. Also for holding my foot in such a way that I didn't get a leg cramp. Thanks to Jennifer for making phone calls and fielding phone calls and generally helping keep family and friends informed while we were in panic mode trying to get to the hospital after my water broke. This was super helpful and allowed us to focus on the battle ahead and have some moments of closeness before things got too crazy. To both our families for respecting our wishes to have a private labor and delivery, this turned out to be exactly what we needed to have. I think this was really instrumental in what turned out to be a successful VBAC. Thanks to all for all the support, congratulations, humor, company and gifts. Thanks to all my coworkers for all of the support, gifts, parental wisdom, help and homemade goodies. I think that covers everyone but if I forgot something specific I blame it fully on labor amnesia.

The beauty of the newborn.

2007-09-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

I am amazed by this:

I think it's cool that there are aspects of babies looks that are adorable that aren't attractive in adults. Plus, I just think this kid is gorgeous!

Not that I'm biased or anything.

My Current Pleasures

2007-09-01T12:47:00.001-07:00

It's definitely a challenge to have two in the house instead of one, especially since one requires such time consuming care. I'm really enjoying it, though. Corb is so interested in his baby brother and very sweet about it. He also totally enjoys being the big helper and is always pleased and eager to play fetch and carry or put dirty diapers in the garbage or whatever. It's pretty awesome. I have to give his auntie props for that, she was the front-runner in teaching him the rewards of being helpful. It's been such a treat for me and the hubby to refer to our children, the boys, our sons. So while the experience isn't without pain, discomfort or difficulty it is rewarding, amazing, and fullfilling. We have been blessed!

He's here!

2007-08-29T21:38:00.000-07:00

We welcomed Lincoln Gabriel into the world on August 27th at 4:27 am after a somewhat long, seriously painful labor. He was a perfect 7 lbs 4 oz and 19 and 3/4 inches long. He emerged pink, wiggly and beautiful and has continued in the same way since. We are so pleased to add him to our family! God has blessed us with an easy pregnancy, an amazing labor and delivery and a miraculously healthy baby!

*If you'd like to read our birth story as written by the world's best doula go to http://oneplusoneequals.blogspot.com and leave her a comment. We couldn't have done it without her and we will be thankful for her forever!

In the good old days....

2007-08-23T17:17:00.000-07:00

How completely tiny is he?!?!? I barely remember what it was like to have him fall asleep randomly on my lap in the middle of the day. Such a precious baby boy.

Also, how completely crappy was that camara?!?!?!

Reminiscing...

2007-08-17T14:52:00.001-07:00

Oi. I'm remembering that once upon a time I had a kid that wasn't ready to start school. I'll be adding more of these as I find the cool ones!

Whatever this means.

2007-08-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this is early signs of labor or if all the running around crazy I do is finally catching up with me. Went through the day feeling ok but once I got done with the end of work started feeling not so ok. First? Crampy feelings. Seriously reminiscent of having a period which reminded me why I so don't miss those. I've heard the analogy that your pelvis is like a basket. Well, the whole basket was one big bruise-like ache. The ache was accompanied by some contractions that really stung which wouldn't have been enough to make me pay attention if the wee boy hadn't for once stopped wiggling in there while all this was going on. This is very abnormal behavior for him. These symptoms were accompanied by a general flu-like body ache and clammy sweat. I can sum it all up by saying that I just didn't feel right. Everything hurt and my brain disengaged more than usual. This made the drive home something of an adventure. I talked the hubby into picking up the boy and meeting me at home. We had brief conversation (which I don't remember) and I went to bed. At like, 4:30 in the afternoon. I curled up with my many pillows, feeling pitiful, moaning a bit with uncomfortable sensations and getting up occasionally to wander into the bathroom and, uh, let some of the pressure off my poor crampy bowels. I eventually fell asleep.

I woke up around 7:30 and felt mostly human and decided that I must have just been tired. I still have that massive pelvic pressure but it isn't too bad if the baby doesn't push too hard. I still feel somewhat under the weather but it is better and I actually ate some stuff for dinner. My darling hubby has placed himself on high alert and I can't bring myself to inform him that being so overly-revved is a waste of energy since this could be anything from labor to gastroenteritis to not a damn thing. Talk about your inexact sciences. It'll happen when it happens and not until. I'm sure he just wants to be ready but I maintain my belief that this isn't something you can be ready for. You just wait for the fun to start, fly by the seat of your pants and take it as it comes.

I'm entertaining the idea of staying home tomorrow just to see if some added rest calms things down and helps me feel more human. I don't know that I'll be back to feeling "normal" (don't bust a gut laughing girls) anytime soon but less like someone who's recovering from mono would be a plus. Anyway, I'll try to keep everyone posted if something interesting does happen but I think the most interesting thing will be that I take a shower and go to bed. I can live with that.

Oh, by the way...

2007-08-14T16:45:00.000-07:00

So at my appointment monday we hear that I am 1-2 centemeters dialated, 50% effaced and his head is right on top of my cervix. She could feel him pushing. So, whatever that means it is more than I expected!

Ok, maybe it's not the modem.

2007-08-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

But rather the wireless router that enables us to carry the laptop all over the stupid house so that we can engage in laziness in every damn room. You'd think that since the laptop no longer gets an internet connection the hubby would be more likely to lay the damn thing down and I dunno, DO something with his evening that doesn't involve an internet game site. Well, I guess he does that, technically since solitaire doesn't require an internet connection. Yep, you heard right. Now he is carrying the stupid laptop around and playing fricking solitaire in every damn room in the house. He thinks I haven't noticed that he checks to see if there is an internet connection every ten minutes or so, but I have. It's pitiful. He's like the abandoned dog waiting hopefully for his owner to come home. He's like "maybe if I hop on one foot, whistle a tune, blink three times and THEN check, it'll be there!" As if. I think he knows that if he shells out the cash for a new wireless router when we still need some baby stuff I'll kill him, cremate him with the broken one and then use his life insurance money to find a die-hard Oregon Beavers fan that likes big, American cars and Wranglers jeans and marry him. I'm sure he thinks it sucks to be a grown-up. Anyway, hit 36 weeks today. Yes I feel fat, stupid and clumsy. Yes I'm eating everything in sight and yes I'm ready to be done. That is all the time and attention I will be devoting to this subject because I think it lost it's luster as a conversation peice forever ago. I'm hoping people will be inclined to talk about it after the kid comes, just to somebody else. I don't need anything else interrupting my nap. I figure I'll climb out of bed just in time to go back to work after 12 weeks. In the meantime, I'm planning to eat and snooze for just as long as humanly possible. Maybe after 12 weeks I'll put some pictures up or something but until then y'all will just have to imagine. Yeah, I'm a damn ray of sunshine. I know.

Yes, my modem is dead.

2007-07-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

I have been unable to access the net for quite some time, but I'm here now. I'm using a pal's computer so I can update all and sundry. I am well and truly ready to be done with this particular pregnancy. I'm not going to try to end it early or anything as I think these things last as long as they do for a reason, but I'm definitely anxious for the end to be in sight. I've had some bizarre, unexplainable dizzyness that did eventually go away on it's own (not a blood pressure issue) my temper isn't exactly stable and I'm so utterly exhausted that simple things often don't make any sense to me. It is waaaay to hot outside and I've hit the point where I can only make one activity a day happen. If it happens to be work then that's it. If it's church on Sunday I can only tack on something else if it takes place hours later, as in, I have a few hours for a nap. I'm really tired. I love it when the hubby takes the young'un off to play for the afternoon so I can doze in front of the fan for awhile without anyone wanting me to do something. Things are going well, healthwise. Everything is right on schedule and looking good. I'm really starting to look forward to meeting this new baby boy and all the fun involved in restructuring the dynamic of our family. I realize that I will never actually see the boys (isn't that cool?!?!? Boys!!!) behaving at the same time or getting along or sharing generously with each other or anything but it'll be fun just the same, I'm sure. I can only hope that I haven't forgotten too much, otherwise this baby thing could be harder than the first time! Ok, we're ready whenever you are kiddo!!

The test is good....etc.

2007-06-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

So my glucose test went well. I didn't vomit that nasty stuff they make you drink and hopefully the results of that won't get back to me. No news is good news so if they don't call, that means everything is good. I've still only gained the 10 pounds and made the nurses station erupt into bawdy laughter when my response to the number on the scale was a loud, distressed, not-thought-out "Well, shit." I hadn't meant to really say that out loud. Either way, things are still measuring right on schedule and the little fartface is flipping like a trout so she's not worried. Or at least, she wasn't worried once she verified that I eat. More than once a day. Seriously. Long talk about what I had eaten in the past few days. She was satisfied both with the quantity and the quality of the food I eat and I told her that I had stopped taking walks since it was so freaking hot outside and had instead been using my exercise ball for about 30 minutes in the afternoon and she was fine with that. In any case, it seems things are going well and normally. I will have to have another ultrasound to see if the placenta has moved off my c-section scar and we are really keeping our fingers crossed for that one! If it hasn't that makes this ballgame quite a bit more complicated because if I ended up having to have another c-sec instead of the vbac I'm hoping for the insicion would have to go somewhere else. Ug, I don't even like to think about it. Anyway, nothing of interest going on in my world. Going to work, going home, hiding from the heat. Slowly working to get things prepared at home and trying to keep up on all the regular duties we have. Mostly pretty boring. It's all good, I like boring!

2007-06-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

So this is my somewhere between 27 and 28 week photo. I didn't realize how big the difference in size is between my belly and my butt until I saw this photo. Since then I've had to check it out in the mirror regularly with some amused confusion. Why don't I fall over more often? It kinda weirds me out and I've decided that it would look more normal if my rear was of a more proportionate size. Not that there's much I can do about this beyond what I'm already doing, but it seems to me that I really do look like an orange on a toothpick. I've come to terms with this, mostly because there isn't much I can do. Deep fried foods kind of make me ill and since fruits and veggies don't help me gain weight I guess I need to resign myself to to being frightfully off balance for awhile. The part that's kind of amusing is that I didn't look as good when I was preggo with my oldest but I felt better. I was more comfortable with my body when it was carrying a much bigger amount of extra weight. I like to think of it as my winter coat, since he was born in January.

I can honestly say that pregnancy is not my favorite state of being. I can agree that it's a miracle, I can agree that it is a wonderful thing. I love babies, I love children, especially mine but I'm not fond of how they get here. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful to be here. I'm so thankful to God for giving me this gift especially after so much struggle and pain. I'm thankful for the ability to add to our family and to have another beautiful child to love. I just don't enjoy being pregnant. It's certainly not the worst thing in the world or the hardest thing I've been through, it just goes on for so long! Plus, each one is different and very rarely in that "pleasant suprise" kind of way. Ok, enough whining. I'd love to say that I have loads of other interesting, fun things to talk about but I'd be lying through my teeth. At this point I'm sort of floating through my life and seeing all in a passive haze. I'm not really in charge, not really trying to be. I just don't care very much. I'm biding my time and looking to the future. Hopefully nobody asks me to sign any legal documents until after September!

The issue is...

2007-06-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

When you haven't had a computer for a while it's really hard to wrest it from your hubby's hands so you can use it. I've still not checked my e-mail because he's been playing with this stupid thing since it was possible to play with it. I generally have no idea what he's been doing but it seems to be work stuff so I can't really complain if I still want to feel good about myself. I can't say that I've been keeping up with all the things going on in the cyber-world that we all enjoy, but I figure the rest of you are so I'm trying to snag the keys whenever I can and keep you all in the know about my lame little life. So, answers to questions. Moving to Eugene probably in late summer or early fall of 2008. Small possibility that it may be sooner but that is the current plan. We will be moving because the hubby will be going to U of O and pursuing a degree in architecture. I have no doubt that he will be able to pull this off without much problem as he is smart, motivated and driven. He is really good at the school thing. Much better than I, actually. I didn't even have to help him much with his writing classes which was a surprise. It's his least favorite subject and the one he tends to struggle with the most. It's usually my best subject and our grades were about the same which I think is due to pure pig-headed tenacity on his part. His grades are wonderful even though he likes to take more credits per term than I ever think he should and he manages to put his studies before fun which I'm not nearly as good at. He has no problem bowing out of a fun evening early so he can tend to his studying. He is just a great student. Plus, he already builds things, does masonry and much artistic talent in ceramics, rock (he carves it) and wood. A most talented guy! I'm not excited about living in Eugene but I'm glad that it isn't too far from home so it will be easy to come and visit and easy for our friends and family to come visit us. I'm trying to find the good things about the area and so far I've found that there is some nice shopping there and the gardening opportunities should be great. There is also a Lutheran church close to where we will probably be living so that helps. I plan to look into job opportunities there that are comparable to what I'm doing now as I really like my job. I don't know that I'll ever be able to find a crew of wonderful people to work with like I have now but I don't think that chance comes around very often. This job is the first I've ever had that plays to all my strengths. The ones that I've earned through experience and the ones I was born with. They appreciate both work ethic and personal ethic. They value their employees for more reasons than any other place I've ever worked. These people are grade A, high class, certifiable good people. Rare, almost unheard of and certainly appreciated. It's not something I want to go the rest of my life without experiencing again. I know I can survive having to move away from all that is comfortable and familiar to me, I've done it before. I just did it before I had kids and that makes me a little nervous. My family is so great with support and help I don't know how I'm going to cope when they are so far away. I know that it'll just be something I get through, something I adjust to over time, but it sounds like it's going to suck. Thank God for technology. I'll be able to call, e-mail or whatever and I'm grateful for that. It's just not the same as being able to go over to their house, pull up a chair and talk. I'm really going to miss that. Even if nobody has anything major to talk about sometimes the few minutes of shooting the breeze makes my day what it should be. And of course, my friends. They are the few that made the cut. Not that I require a lot, just that these people stuck. They stuck to me and I stuck to them. They're great, no other way to say it. Oy, look at me go! I gotta go to bed, got church tomorrow!! Have a good one!

**Update** By the way, I figured I should let you all know that the baby shower thrown by my wonderful, industrious sister-in-law and my equally wonderful pal will be on July 21st and we have indeed managed to get ourselves registered at Target. The registry number is 011000766001258. All are welcome to attend and invitations that include the location will be forthcoming. That is all. ;)

I'm back!!

2007-06-03T08:33:00.000-07:00

The computer has been fixed so I should be able to post and comment more often. I've tried to catch up on what everyone has been writing so I'm not so out of the loop. Things are going well here. I have to say that this pregnancy is harder than my last. More uncomfortable and unpredictable. I finally gained some weight so my doctor is happy but I feel as though I have reached capacity and I can't possibly get any bigger. I'm a little concerned that the feeling will only get worse and it will start to seriousy complicate my life. I can handle all the discomforts well at home, it's just a matter of delegating. It's a little harder at work. I really want to work all the way up to the end and I don't want to have to stop early. Obviously, if my doctor says I have a real reason to stop early I will, but I'd like to keep working if for no other reason than to keep busy. Besides, I know that if I were home all the time I'd be scrubbing stuff in my house that doesn't need it and organizing things that have already been organized. It's become an obsession.

Anyway, things to do so I'll come back later and bore you some more!

Technical difficulties!!!

2007-05-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

Our computer is having some issues so it may be a little while before I can resume posting regularly.

I'm not ignoring you guys, promise.

Life is weird.

2007-04-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

So here I am, wandering aimlessly down the path of pregnancy and not putting too much thought into the differences between one kid and two. I'm not sure why this fails to set off alarm bells in my head, it probably should. I don't know if it is because I became so very good at "just getting through it" with Corbin that I know that while fun and amazing, this will be something else I will just have to get through. I know that this baby will offer me all the fun and snuggling and love that Corbin did, but it's still hard to be at home with a brand new baby. Especially if I get two colicky ones in a row. I've never been good at having a normal life without a full regimen of sleep, which I think sort of mystifies my mommy friends who are excel at it as well as the ones who are just so used to it that it fails to faze them anymore. I haven't played in the no-sleep lottery in a really long time. At least a couple of years, maybe actually a few. Now we all sleep through the night 98% of the time. The other 2% can be attributed to such non-baby reasons as: loud neighbors, insomnia, midnight snack raids, bad dreams (Corbin) involving him crying a bit and falling asleep in our bed, failing to get to sleep on time due to the new book I'm reading and not being able to set it down, nocturnal aerobics, and other things that tend to steal sleep, but not a lot of it. I've not had much insomnia with this pregnancy, and I'm grateful for it. I'm tired enough during the day without missing my sleep at night. I'm consoling myself with the logic that it won't matter how tired, stupid and unprepared I am once the baby comes, I won't have to go to work for a while. So if I'm exhausted, dumb as a brick and frumpy during that time, who cares? I won't really be going anywhere and the baby sure as heck won't care. Brandon will just be happy that I'm upright and Corb only cares if it effects something he wants, like dinner or his ability to play GameCube. Some other things that I haven't felt concerned about (yet?) are losing weight after (either it'll come off or it won't), the right time to return to work (I'll probably just know), our financial situation (it'll be a while before I can do anything about that), or how Corbin will handle this (what are his options?). I don't know if any of these issues will turn into panic later, I just know that the only reaction they illicit from me now is a shrug. Am I living in denial? I don't know. All I know is that I'm not really concerned about it. I'll figure it all out when I get there, and since I have really supportive family and friends it'll be that much easier or at least more fun to bitch about. If there's one thing I've learned from all my Girlfriends it's that with a little help and support (and sometimes with none) a mommy can get through anything. I've seen my mommy pals weather the worst emotional storms, usually accompanied by physical hardship, financial disaster, marital difficulty, PMS, a household chocolate shortage, a household, unfinished chores, behavioral crises with the other children and a mother-in-law who wouldn't shut up. There really isn't anything a mommy can't do, and do spectacularly under the worst circumstances. I'm not saying that I happen to be one of these paragons of perserverance, that would be hilarious, I'm more of the limping-along-just-barely-making-it type, but I've proven that things like six-month colic and baby constipation can be survived. I wouldn't have thought it at the time, but it can. And if I can get through it, anyone can. And I suppose I could even do it twice, but I hope to God that I don't have to!!

A word of warning...

2007-04-21T21:16:00.000-07:00

This is a letter a friend of mine received through one of her "Mommy Groups." I thought it was significant enough to merit public response.

Hello fellow friends and parents,
I am writing to tell you about something that recently happened to me which
was very disturbing and unpleasant. I recently dined out at Baltazar's
Restaurant with my friends the Liebmans and the Lindekoffs. We had a sitter
for Sachi and Jade, and brought Kobe because he was only a few months old
and slept most of the time. Three different staff people there were very
unpleasant to us because we brought the baby and treated us very rudely
despite the fact that he slept the entire time and never made a peep.
Baltazar himself made it a point to come over to our table to tell Tom and I
(and I quote-) that "they do not specialize in children" so we had to put
him on the floor since there was no highchair to set his car seat into.

A few weeks ago, I was encouraged to write the restaurant a letter because
of how rude they had been to us so I finally got around to it this week.
After asking for approval from the MOMS Club of Bend board members to use
letterhead, I wrote to Baltazar describing our experience and asked him to
consider purchasing one highchair to accommodate parents with a small child
who may dine at the restaurant.

Baltazar called me today and made it very clear that he does not want any
children in his restaurant. In fact, his exact words were, "We are not
going to buy even one highchair because we don't want them (kids) here."
When I suggested to him that Bend was a family friendly community and that
by treating patrons disrespectfully for accidentally bringing a child into
the restaurant is actually not good for his business and he was shutting out

a corner of the market, he asked me if I was threatening him, told me he
would sue me and then concluded the conversation with a "GO TO H*** YOU
F****** B****."

was completely stunned and shocked by having been treated this way- but
after being harassed in the restaurant for having a sleeping 8 week old with
us, I guess I should not be surprised.

There are many other establishments in this community that would never treat
their patrons in this manner- and I hope you will consider joining me in
finding alternative dining options where people are treated with dignity and
respect, whether or not their children are with them.

As I told Baltazar, I completely support restaurants approaching customers
who have unruly children, or whose children are disrupting the dining
experiences of the other patrons and politely asking them to get the
situation under control or leave- but blatant rudeness such as his
demonstrates poor business etiquette. If Baltazar's policy is
anti-children in their restaurant, they should post a sign at the door
stating, "No infants or children allowed." It would save an unknowing
parent such as me the harassment of being indirectly told multiple times
while dining there that my child was unwelcome.

Please share this message with others you know. As for Tom and I, we will
never again dine there again and hope you'll join us in demonstrating that
behavior such as that will not be rewarded with our continued patronage.

Thanks,
Name withheld.

I think this is terrible. If you do not post your no-kids rule don't be surprised if people bring their kids in. If they do bring their kids in and you seat them you'd better treat them like royalty because that's where your tip is coming from. Not to mention the fact that these are the patrons who allow your business to stay open. People like this are the reason family restaurants are the most prevalent eateries around. It's hard to find babysitters and even still, some people enjoy eating out with their children. I find ill-behaved children in restaurants as irritating as the next person, but that is really a parent issue. Kids will behave badly whenever they are allowed so the blame must lie with the parents allowing it. My husband and I have decided never to gift such a miserable place with our business and I urge you all to do likewise. This guy and his staff need to know that it is never acceptable to treat your customers in such a disrespectful, ungrateful, childish and innapropriate manner. Let's hit him where it hurts. In the bank account!

Here he is!!

2007-04-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

These are the pics that we took home from the ultrasound. This is probably the only time it is appropriate or forgivable for me to puposely post a photo of one of my children that exposes his genitals so I will hopefully still have this blog when the first girlfriends are being brought home. Did you catch that? One of my children. Isn't that the coolest thing?!?!? I'm going to have two!!! Two beautiful little boys to love! The more I think about it the more excited I get. I really can't wait to see them together. They are already together in my heart but to have them together in my house, my sight, my arms, my life will be so wonderful and amazing I can't fathom it. I used to be afraid that if we had another baby I wouldn't be able to love Corbin as much as I do. I was afraid that I would hurt him by wanting to give all I had to a helpless new little person and that he would be left out in the cold and know it. I know better now. I already love this new baby but it hasn't taken away from my love for Corbin at all. It's still there and still as strong and huge and overwhelming as it ever was. This isn't to say that he doesn't drive me crazy, he does. But as my son, and a 5-year-old, that is his job. I love him anyway. I know that I will be able to be a good mom to both of them and that, with a wonderful daddy like Brandon in the house neither of them will ever have reason to feel left out in the cold. My SIL, the smarty-pants, told me all of this at one point although not word for word or anything. I confess I didn't get it. I didn't think she was making it up, or that she was incorrect, I just didn't have the capacity to understand it. I must have still been in my baby honeymoon with Corbin or something. You know, that place where your brain can't fully grasp anything that is about something other than your only baby. Corb monopolized our minds and lives like that for a long time. It was fun, but I was happy to grow a life that had adult aspects in it. Now I don't think that will happen again, at least not to the same degree. I think this is actually healthier. I want to love my kids, think about them and be dedicated to doing what is best for them. I don't want to be totally obsessed with them. What's more, I'm not sure they would really enjoy me being obsessed with them in the long run. I have met parents who are obsessed with their children and it isn't a pretty sight. The kids grew up screwed up and the parents got one heck of a raw deal. I'm going to endeavor to love my kids bit still allow them to be seperate beings and to have some independance. And me too.

Drumroll please.....

2007-04-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

It's a boy!!!

We are really excited!! We didn't really care either way, although we were really enjoying picking on each other about it! Baby boy is measuring right on schedule and very active and healthy already. Everything just looked great and that's so wonderful. We are so amazed that we are finally here after all the ick we went through and to see how perfect and healthy he is gives us such strong feelings of thankfulness and awe. Corb was slightly disappointed that it's not a girl (I know, what the heck??) and quickly lost interest which is good in my mind. I think it shows that he's pretty secure with this whole thing and that we've succeeded in not making it any bigger than it needs to be. So far, it's only me that's having a slight obsession with the idea. I'm in a haze of "we need to" as in, we need to pick a name, we need to get the room ready (sharing with Corb, so should be a pain) we need to get new (fill in the blank)etc etc....

Driving hubby crazy, basically. Not feeling guilty though, he deserves it.

Anyway, we are open to suggestions as far as names. We have a hard time with boy names so anything interesting (not insane though) will be gratefully considered. We are trying to avoid anything that starts with a "C" or a "K" or the sounds of those. I stutter enough without making it worse by having sons with way-too-similar names. Plus, with new baby comes severe brain-deadedness. I try not to sound too stupid in public, so nothing similar to Corbin. I will be keeping a file of possibilities to discuss with Brandon and he's really liking the idea. The only *rule* to this little suggestion-collecting game is that nobody is allowed to get all butt-hurt and pissy if their name isn't chosen or is rejected. We are taking suggestions not entries in a contest. Your name doesn't get chosen based on votes or merit or composition, it merely gets accepted or rejected based only on our opinions, which may or may not be totally stupid according to your standards anyway. If you can't remain objective and have fun with it you probably shouldn't play and you certainly shouldn't tell me the name you would have given your perfect dream child if only your spouse had agreed and then be crushed when I think it's silly. On the other hand, if you tell us a name and we love it so much we just have to give it to the baby you will have the immense pleasure of being able to tell people that we gave our son the name YOU gave us. How cool will that be?

So let's get the names rolling!

Last Chance!!!

2007-04-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

So, Wednesday morning at 9:00 am we go to have our ultrasound where we will (hopefully) find out the gender of our little bean. This means that this is your last chance to chime in and tell me what you think our little bean might be. Boy? Girl? Rottweiler puppies? VW bug? Do tell! I'd love to know what your instincts are telling you!

Make your opinion known!

For someone in need...

2007-04-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

This is for a blogger that I recently began to read. A single mom to twins who has just lost her husband to pancreatic cancer. To those of you so inclined, light her a candle, will you?

For Snickollet. My heart goes out to you.

Well, there ya go.

2007-04-01T23:20:00.000-07:00

I'm so not fond of having my picture taken. In fact, this would be the reaction I usually have to having my picture taken. I bet you didn't know I was so proficient at rolling my eyes.

Or, maybe you are because you know my personality.

It's art man!

2007-03-09T21:00:00.000-08:00

These are the pieces that hubby made in his ceramics class. Naturally (as with all his other classes) his teacher is properly astounded by his untapped talent and believes him truly gifted. She thinks he should sell his pieces and it seems that she's got her eye on a prodigy/big seller role for his future. He just thinks it's fun. I'm really proud of how lovely his work is and how good he is at making the pictures in his imagination come to life. Ok, I'm done bragging on him. Back to your regularly scheduled blog surfing.

And life goes on..... sorta.

2007-03-05T08:39:00.000-08:00

Most of you that know me really well know that I've been driving a couple of older folks to church for a few years. Bob and Marie. I've enjoyed their company greatly and they really are a couple of characters. I was no longer allowed to drive them once we started having our OB appointments (I actually should have stopped much earlier) because of the lifting involved in getting Marie out of the car. I finally bit the bullet and let them know what was going on. I felt really bad about it because they really count on me for that ride to church. Also, I'm really the only person Marie gets to see outside her home. Other than the people at dialysis, that is. Her family has been absent from her life since I've known her. Bob has a very nice family that he sees often so I don't worry as much about him. We've also not yet found someone to fill in for them while I am unable to drive them. In fact, we've never found a fill in person. We had one couple that did a great job pinch-hitting for me when we planned a trip out of town but then one of them became ill with cancer. Since then we've had nobody. I've put the word out at church that we need someone because we can no longer provide rides but haven't heard any responses yet. It seems funny that lots of people can run up to me on Sunday and tell me how utterly wonderful they think it is that I bring them to church every week and on and on and on, but when we put out a cry for help we are met with silence.

But really, I'm getting off topic. The real issue is this. I think Marie is on her way out of this world. I won't go into the entire story, but I will say that it seems pretty obvious that she had a stroke in her sleep Saturday night. When she awoke Sunday morning she had a pupil that was still completely reactive to light changes and one that was a pinprick and stayed that way. She has only uttered a couple of words in the last two days although she seems as upbeat as ever, giggling and hugging and drifting off to sleep at odd moments. I'm actually hopeful that she will go in her sleep and that it will be easy and peaceful and painless. I don't want her to be awake, I don't want her to have enough time to start thinking about it all and get scared. I also don't want it to be long and drawn out and painful. I think that she's dealt with enough pain and discomfort for a lifetime. She was able to answer in the negative when asked if she wanted to go to the hospital and gave the same answer when asked if she wanted to return to dialysis. I think she's just ready to be done. It's not as sad as it would have been for me 6 months ago, mostly because I know that since her last bout of pneumonia her quality of life has been in a steady decline. It has been very obvious that she was very unwell. Shortly after she was released from the hospital with that illness she was placed under Hospice care. The just seemed to know that her lungs were unlikely to clear out, although it's unclear if that is what's causing her current problems or even if it is a contributing factor. I feel sad about other things, though. I feel sad that she's still not heard from her family, and that when they decided to leave her alone I was the person to replace them. It seems that God could have made a better decision with someone who had more time and money. Maybe someone who was retired and had no children at home. I was able to take her to church, which is important, but there are so many other obligations in my life that I didn't often see her outside of that. I feel bad about that, and I probably always will. Yet, it feels somehow worse that some of her family live nearby and she was lucky if she saw them once a year. It's the kind of thing that should never happen to a person and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Yet, she is always cheerful and happy and always aware of her blessings and thankful for them. Really, I'll be lucky if I age to be half the woman she is. In the face of all the adversity, pain and lonliness that life has presented her she is the most upbeat, optomistic person I've ever met. She has impressed me since day one. I'm thankful for all the time I've spent with her and all the lessons I've learned since she came into my life. She did say she'd do me the favor of saving me a seat wherever they are singing in Heaven, so I'll get to sit with her again, it just may be a while. In the meantime, pray for her. Pray for an easy passage and a loving welcome. As if she could receive any other kind of reception!

The Details...

2007-02-23T21:04:00.000-08:00

So, we found out we were expecting on Christmas. We opted not to tell this time because we've been bitten by that before. So, as of Thursday we are 12 weeks. The ultrasound photo was from about 9 weeks and we've had another brief one since. At my 12 week appt. because the doc was unable to find the heartbeat with the doppler. She went ahead and pulled the ultrasound machine in and we took a peek. She never did get a look at the heart because the little bean moved so much she never even managed to get close. She decided not to worry about it and said "nothing that moves that much could possibly be unhealthy!" It was great. We did get another picture, but it's very unidentifiable because the bean literally moved the whole time. Everything is right on schedule and everything except my weight looks perfect. I apparently lost a couple pounds (not sure how that happened) and she said that if I don't gain it back plus a couple they'll have to take a look at my diet. I guess that means I'll have to figure out a way to eat more every day. Not sure how I'm going to do that, but I'll try. I'm thinking it's because I've caught every cold and flu I've been exposed to so far. At least, I hope that's what it is. Anyway, I'll just up the amount of higher calorie foods in my diet and hope that helps. We've been eating healthier food for a while now, not to lose weight, but to help lower the hubby's cholesterol. This is the first time that I've ever been at an appropriate weight for my height instead of under it and I'd like to maintain that, it seems healthier. I'm not used to paying any attention to my weight but it seems I'll have to start. Maybe I'll buy a scale. =D

So that's the whole story (or the most interesting parts anyway) of how we've been keeping our little secret. It's nice not to be keeping it anymore, although kind of sad to let it go too. I've lived up to my end of the bargain and sent out the annoucements, hubby hasn't told anyone. Not a soul. Not the people at work, not anyone in his family, nobody. I think he's clinging to it a little harder than I was. Not that I'm annoyed with him, I know how he feels. Plus, it's going to get increasingly hard for me to hide it. He could hide it for a lot longer!

Hey!

2007-02-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

So guess what?

Rubber bando.

2007-02-16T21:46:00.000-08:00

Who the heck can sleep comfortably in this position? Seriously. We sent him to his room to think about why it's not a good idea to throw tantrums when told that dinner won't be ready for another five minutes and he wore himself out in less than two minutes. When he got quiet I decided to go see what he had found to occupy himself with and was shocked to find that he had literally passed out on his face. When dinner was actually finished I had a heck of a time getting him to wake up enough to eat it.

What a weirdo.

The Funniest Christmas Present Ever!

2007-01-31T18:03:00.000-08:00

Hi, my name is Bub the Builder! I'm a builder! Can I build you something? Anything? As you can see, I have tools with which to complete the job. So, can I? Build something? Anything? Even just a little thing? I won't hit the furniture, I promise! Please? Pleeeeeeaaaasssseeee?!?!?

Well, I can fix things too......

Yeah, he's cute and yeah, we laughed damned hard!

Um.....

2007-01-28T15:28:00.000-08:00

Rawr! Yeah, that's all I had to say.

Let me respond to your butt-hurtedness....

2007-01-18T20:58:00.000-08:00

Ok, so you're waiting with baited breath for me to update you on my oh-so fabulous and exciting life. So, what? Ya stupid or something?!? There's absolutely nothing fab or exciting going on in my life right now (or ever) so I'm not sure what you're so hot to trot about. So, I will explain. No, I will sum up. I go to work, same as usual. After that I go to school. Nothing exciting there. Then I go home, do homework, hang with fam, pass out on my face. Same. As. Usual.

So to you darling sis-in-law, put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

Or you can read the wise words on your profile photo and deal with it. Either way.

Catch ya on the flip side!!

Smooches and shit.

Ok, fine.

2007-01-02T22:58:00.000-08:00

So, yeah it's 2007. I have killer pics. Pics of the part-ay I went to and pics of the kid in some of his holiday finery. Guess what? The rat-bastard program I am using won't let me publish them. I don't know if it's pissed because I didn't get it anything for Christmas or what, but it's making me very angry. So these fabulous blog-worthy (and somewhat embarrasing for some of my friends) are sitting in my computer. Bored. Useless. A shell of their former selves.

All because of the rat-bastard program that has ceased to serve the function that I acquired it for.

Dammit.

Merry Christmas All!!!

2006-12-25T11:01:00.000-08:00

Our Christmas started last night with my in-laws coming over for dinner. I made a 20 pound turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, salad, biscuits and many, many treats. It was a total blast, the kids all made out like bandits. My cutie pie was gifted with many toys, including a Game Cube and a bunch of games, a kid construction set (so he can be just like daddy) and an absolutely beautiful bed set that includes a quilt and two matching pillow covers. I'll post photos as soon as it's washed and on his bed. He also got loads of Avatar stuff, which he was totally excited over as it is his favorite. My in-laws got my hubby and I gift cards to Johnny Carrino's and Cold Stone Creamery. I sense a date night coming up! My mother got us a fabulous set of stainless steel cookware that is oven safe to 400 degrees. For the most part, we've been playing with kids toys, though. I can't help it, that Game Cube is addictive, and it has 3 controllers. B and I also were gifted with a huge basket of gourmet foods. In this basket is a Tortuga rum cake. I'm eying it already! Anyway, it was super fun watching kids open presents and now I'm going to lounge on the couch with my mom and watch my kid play the Polar Express game we got him.

Yay!! Time off!!

2006-12-23T11:19:00.000-08:00

Man, I just love holiday time off!! It rocks! I got to sleep in this morning, wake up for coffee, enjoy a visit from my SIL and Bro (and their perfect children, of course!) on their way out of town, my awesome friend is visiting me today and I'm not sure I'll ever bother to get out of my pajamas! My hubby has taken my son to the garage to play with power tools and get dirty so they are both perfectly happy and Dirty Jobs is on TV. This is shaping up to be a great day. Plus, I have been gifted with so much chocolate I could melt it and bathe in it. Not that I would do such a thing, it would render it inedible, but I could if I wanted to! I'm pretty excited about this weekend as we are having a couple dinner parties with different friends and one with the parents (my mom, DH's parents) as well as several visits both given and received. I can't wait to see my son open his presents and I literally have no idea what my hubby has gotten me. Yes, I shook all the boxes, I admit. Anyway, I am going to continue my cozy lounging until my friend calls me and then I may comb my hair. Then again, I may not!

Hey!! Something for Christmas!

2006-12-18T20:45:00.000-08:00

So, y'all know what I do for a living. Here's a little something for you!!

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and
Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate? Why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

Welcome to my day job folks. With a few missing, which would involve violent/obscene/disgusting outbursts, spitting including but not limited to food, kleptomania, and many other issues, surprises and other such tortures.

Merry Christmas!!

*Rhyme disrespectfully lifted from Three Headed Dragon

Okay, okay.

2006-12-13T20:25:00.000-08:00

I'm posting already! You can't make me put in pictures, though. I've been avoiding the computer for a while, it seems to suck time faster than any of my other vices. I used to be able to sit down and surf the net, to think of things throughout the day I wanted to look up. For some reason, that hasn't happened to me lately. I get online, I read the blogs I like and then go do something else. Of course, it may have something to do with the NSAIDs, but it may not. They make me a little groggy, too groggy to keep up with the speed of the television (I feel like it's throwing things at me) and the 'puter seems way too bright. All the other lights in the house, however, seem way too dim and I always assume that they are screwing with my vision. Speaking of vision, I had to fight to keep it in focus whilst driving home, but I seem to be okay now. Uh, what else can I tell you? Oh, work is the same. Complete and utter insanity. Fun yet excrutiating. Irritating yet amusing. Friend from out of town visiting, though I haven't seen all that much of her. Other friend hopefully getting out of the hospital soon after barely surviving a nasty case of bacterial pnuemonia. Um, looking forward to a fairly low-key holiday, spending time with those I feel close to. Looking forward to the new semester, sort of. Sort of not. Either way, it's coming so there you go. Looking forward to dropping the boy off at daycare in the morning and forcing his poop-headed provider to wear my coffee. Never mind that he told me today that she is the best teacher ever. This is irrelevant, she's a booger and a turkey, trust me. Ok, I've updated on all the things I feel like discussing, so I'm leaving. I may come back soon, I may not. You never know.

The Feast!!

2006-11-24T13:15:00.000-08:00

Holy moly, that was awesome!! The food was incredible, the company was hilarious, the liqueur was top-shelf and the time had by all was amazing!! There were two turkeys to choose from, one oven baked and one deep fried. There was a veritable mountain of side-dishes and pies galore. There was a river of freely-slowing alcohol and of course, the full gamut of sarcastic and witty humor to be enjoyed. Everyone had a fabulous time and I'm so glad we could all be together like that this year!! A certain too-fabulous chef that I know and am related to by marriage was severely smashed by the time dinner was ready and kept us all giggling with her attempts to speak English. I particularly enjoyed it when she tried to offer me some wine by saying that I should "have a piece of this." Of course all the stuttering and false starts leading up to that only increased my enjoyment. This person, of course, is the reigning Queen of hostesses and never, ever fails to put on a shindig that wows us all. It is always amazing to me that she can make it all come together in such a perfect fashion and make it look effortless and gracious at the same time. I can't cook dinner for 3 people and have it all come off that way. She was perfectly attentive to all her guests and even made the children feel welcome and comfortable. She's the only person I've ever met who can exude both drunkenness and propriety at the same time. Explain that. She ends up with an event that is somewhere between the best formal dinner ever and the karaoke dance party in the swamp. I don't know how she does it. It is better food than you can have at the best catered affair and more fun than a dive bar with friends you don't introduce your mother to. Either way, I had a rocking good time and am looking forward to doing it again tonight!!

Let the games begin!!

Whoa nellie! Here we go!!!

2006-11-21T19:24:00.000-08:00

Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Tomorrow will be my last day of work this week. Thursday I will be going over to my SIL's house early to get the food started then we head off to church. After we return (we will run home to change, of course) we will finish food preparation and we feast!! No doubt we will be there till way late and the kids will all be running around like little nutcases on crack and of course we will have a few extra kids there. I'm sure that will be a blast. Then home to sleep off all the food and use the next day to lounge around and drink coffee. Then it will be back to SIL's house for a seriously huge drunken card game! We are each contributing a different variety of alcoholic beverage and the kids will all be at grandma's house. It promises to be seriously fun!! If that weren't good enough, Saturday night B and I will be off to party it up with all my friends at work. We are planning to go dancing, maybe some more drinking and who knows? We may end up doing something not previously on the agenda! I even have a good friend coming from out of town to join us. I've been looking forward to this four day weekend all week as have all my friends at work. We were all talking today about how excited we were getting and how we couldn't wait for it to get here! It's so cool that all the significant others are joining us as it is usually just the people I work with. Not that this is a bad thing, it is a group of gals between the ages of 22 and 29 some of whom have children and some not. We can all get pretty exuberant and ridiculous with the assistance of a few drinks and a lot of laughter. We have also discussed doing a potluck kind of dinner with all the kids so we could all continue to get together. Either way, this is going to be a seriously kick-ass weekend!

I can't wait to see what we do for Christmas!! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

So out of shape...

2006-11-18T11:01:00.000-08:00

Last night I joined almost all my co-workers for a hilarious night of bar hopping in honor of my friend Sheila's birthday. It was great fun, starting at the bar closest to work, progressing to one downtown and ending at the new dance club just a few blocks away. It was such a riot, there were quite a few people there and we all joked and laughed and had a wonderful time. However, I can admit to being tipsy enough that by the time we got to the dancing part of the evening it did not occur to me that I should start slowly as I haven't been dancing in, oh, like years and years. So I hopped my seriously buzzed behind around on that dance floor with all my friends and stayed out there for hours. I came back to the table only occasionally to guzzle water and then back out to the floor I went. Afterward we all wandered off to Denny's for a little snack and some coffee and the girls in the group giggled the entire time. We were all giddy and buzzed and enjoying ourselves probably way too much, but it was such fun! After we had eaten and drank warm things we all hugged and headed our separate ways. The drive home was fine and once I got home the hubby was still up and I told him all about the fun night and he said it sounded so fun he would join us next time, which I am really looking forward to. However, this morning after waking up I became aware of something that didn't occur to me last night. I'm out of shape. My legs are killing me. I was wearing comfortable shoes last night so my feet don't hurt, but damn near everything else does. My knees are even slightly puffy, probably because I don't usually make them work this hard. Of course, if they called me and said that they were gonna do it again tonight I'd be all over it but I'm glad that my day can be low-key and easy going so I can stop being sore by Monday. It's a good thing I'm registered for school because that means I will start working out again so maybe I'll have a little more stamina. That would be great, because I honestly forgot what a grueling workout dancing can be if you do it right. I ended up so over-heated that I was the only one in our party who walked back to the cars in my short sleeves and no coat in 30 degree weather. My hair was soaked in sweat and smells a bit strange this morning. Luckily, I never hit that seriously plastered stage that comes right before I throw up and disgrace myself so there is no hangover this morning. Thank God for that, I hate hangovers. So, last night was somewhat nostalgic since hubby and I used to go dancing all the time in our early relationship and into our early married life. Once the booger was born I honestly don't think we ever went again, and then the club we used to go to closed down and there wasn't another for a long time. I can't wait to go back with my friends and husband. I'm sure it will be great!!

Oh, and by the way, Mojitos are better if you're a little tipsy before you start drinking them.

Swimming in weird.

2006-11-15T22:25:00.000-08:00

You just gotta love sharing the planet with all the beetle-headed humans taking up space on it. We all know that the weather is starting to get a little sloppy. A teensy bit of snow, a lot of rain and a whole lot of wind. Nothing too dramatic or alarming, at least in my book. In the last week I've been rather unfortunate in my quest for a peaceful drive to and from work. A bit disappointed, really. I've been stuck behind people who resolutely refuse to come close to the posted speed limit due to, I assume, the small and insignificant fact that there is some form of moisture falling out of the sky. It's as though their cars put a stubborn cap on their velocity as soon as the windshield wipers are engaged. I've also noticed that the same moisture seems to cause their peripheral vision to fly south for the winter. I've been cut off, swerved toward, and the victim of an attempted scraping-off. I'm not really a violent person. I'm generally too easy-going and too lazy to work up a good head of steam. Nonetheless, I've used more foul language at higher volumes in the last week than I have in a long time. I've not made any obscene gestures or anything, but I have family members who can vouch for the fact that I prefer to flip "el birdo" when I'm face to face with the recipient. So much more fun in person, don't you think? Anyway, my shouted profanity has had zero effect on the state of traffic, but it has helped me feel as though I'm not letting the ignorant bastards get away with it. I hope their ears are burning. It feels somewhat counter-productive to arrive at work, facing a full day of verbal fencing and cajolery, feeling somewhat drained, like I just survived a dangerous obstacle course rife with landmines only to find out that I still have to get to the center of the labyrinth and then do a triathlon. By the time I stash my stuff in my locker, fill up my coffee cup and find a pen I'm not interested in doing my charting or file review. I just want to take a nap. Maybe preceded by a cocktail and some chocolate. Same thing when I get home. I had to drive through hell and you still want me to cook dinner? Kiss my a$$, you turkey. Get some takeout and make with the foot massage and we'll negotiate who gets stuck doing yesterday's dishes. Of course I don't actually express these sentiments because this is real life and that's just not how it works. If it could I'd be all over it, but so would you. Admit it.

Anyway, now that I've vented my spleen (where did that stupid saying come from???) I'm off to do the dishes. And, no, they're not left over from yesterday.

School days, school days....

2006-11-11T23:01:00.000-08:00

So my registration is currently being cleared by my former microbiology teacher. This means I will be registering for classes no later than November 18th. This is a bit strange as I have been out of the grind for two terms now. I both miss it and kinda dread it, knowing how labor-intensive it can be. On the upside I have a clearer idea of what area I'm interested in so that narrows down my prospective classes quite a bit. That's a good thing considering the number of seriously boring classes offered. I'm glad I'm not required to take psychology or sociology or any of that crud. It's hard to get financial aid for classes that are generally slept through, though I can't imagine why considering the curriculum. Anyway, that first week or two should be interesting, work and school going at the same time. I'm not sure if going back is smart or stupid.

Let it be smart, please God.

On that note, the Rock is on TV, no idea what the movie is, but he just walked onscreen with no shirt on so I gotta go.

The One-Night Punk Rocker.

2006-10-31T22:25:00.000-08:00

For whatever reason my kid decided he wanted to be a punk rocker for Halloween. He didn't shout "I wanna rock!!!" like Dee Snyder or anything but he definitely expressed some interest.

Since I'm his indulgent mommy, wish granted. Observe.

I pretty much covered this kid with fake tattoos. Half his mohawk was yellow, the other half green. B called him the nuclear porcupine. He had glow-in-the-dark paint on his face and and in the flat parts of his mohawk. I drew him some earrings with eyeliner and made him look stinkin' cool. Observe exhibit B.

These were his favorites. Why he like the ones on his fingers the best, I don't know.

Our Halloween Pumpkin Fun!

2006-10-30T21:51:00.000-08:00

This adorable bat is Corbin's. His very first pumpkin, he did really well with the carving, didn't cut himself and was patient. I think it turned out well!

This one was my pumpkin, I've not carved one like this before. I turned out pretty nicely too, I think.

This is the show stopper, the work of art, one of the coolest pumkins I've ever seen. Flawlessly executed by Brandon, and most likely a photo of this will be included in his portfolio and submitted when he applies to archetecture school.

Yeah, that's damn cool!

The hubby's birthday...and a bit of academia...

2006-10-28T23:04:00.000-07:00

Today my hubby turned 32. We didn't do too much, we just kinda played parent, he washed his car, we had some visitors. In the end we took the booger out to Grand-ma's and went to dinner. Dinner was great and afterwards we wandered aimlessly around the gigantic bookstore for a while. All in all, a really great day.

On the academic note, I read a story on msn about a girl who got a nipple piercing and ended up with necrotizing faciitis. It was an interesting story up until they said that necrotizing faciitis and gas gangrene are the same thing. So I e-mailed them and told them that these conditions are caused by two different bacteria, Streptococcus pyogenes and Clostridium perfringens, respectively. It was kinda cool to catch a microbiology boo-boo made by the Associated Press and circulated by a bunch of major news carriers. Made me feel smart for about ten seconds and like racking up all those student loans might actually be worth it!