THE JC PEOPLE

Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

2010-07-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

Why? Because you have too. The world doesn't stop just because I want it to, so you have to keep moving.

So that's what we've done, however unwilling at times.

Your baby measures up to an avocado, now, and weighs 3 1/2 ounces. (Length: 4 1/2 inches, head to bottom.)

So there. We're having an avocado.

Where are we now?

2009-12-06T23:47:00.000-08:00

So. This is the first post I can really make since Linc died.

I'm going to babble, I can feel it. Please forgive any of the following incomprehensible mush. I really just need to put it somewhere.

There are so many things that can happen that don't enter your mind when you decide to have kids. There are so many things you still don't know once you have them. Would I have decided to play the infertility lottery if I knew this would be where I would end up? Probably. Will I play it again? No idea.

I still can't believe that this has happened to our family. I had to take a good long look at the world at large to comprehend how many people things like this happen to. After I had hard evidence in front of me, I didn't feel comforted, I just felt sick. All these people in the world, walking wounded. All of us trying to figure out how to be real, breathing, feeling human beings again. All of wondering how to pretend that things matter, feeling like frauds when we can't make other things matter. Driving ourselves crazy wondering if we are further damaging the other people in our lives when we are locked inside this vicious grief and only see the rest of the world when lack of air forces us out of it.

Nobody is telling me anything I don't already know. I know my faith, family and friends are going to carry me through this. I know that there is always help available. I know, and appreciate, the reminders that my loved ones are there for me. Unfortunately, when it is a quiet moment, time to try to sleep or when I'm waiting for something, I am entirely alone. Everyone is still there, God is still there, but I am stuck with me and sometimes I hear me louder than I can hear anyone else. The me that is still curled up in a ball, rocking and tearing at her hair is screaming "I can't live through this! This can't be happening, because if it is, I have to die." Then I have to argue with myself to keep moving. I'm not saying I'm going to stick my head in the oven, I'm just saying that it's a good thing that people can't will their hearts to stop beating or I wouldn't have lasted through the first day. I sometimes can't remember what I live for, or why. All I can do is realize that I'm about to have a bad moment and watch the world around me fade away. When the grief hits it's like a giant blanket that insulates me inside myself with these horrifying emotions and isolates completely. I can't hear anything, see anything, feel anything but what is inside me. Oddly enough, dealing with the loss of my baby is incredibly similar to my labor and delivery with him. I find that both poignant and obscene.

I don't know yet, in my heart, if I can live without him. Part of me is afraid that my life from here on is just going to be a waiting game. I'll play along, do my best to look like I'm really alive, but I'll just be passing time. I feel sure that wouldn't be good.

When I'm not sucked into this grief, I'm so thankful I surprise myself. I'm thankful that I had Lincoln in my life. I'm thankful that I don't ever have to worry about him again, that he's in the safest place in existence. I'm thankful that I appreciated my time with him so much, and that he knew that I'd rather be where he was than anywhere else. I'm thankful that I finally felt like a real mom with him, instead of the inept, inadequate mom I felt like I was with his older brother. I'm thankful for the faith that is in me, the people God gave me to support and uplift me. I'm thankful for my husband, the only other person who feels almost exactly what I feel right now. I'm thankful for my older son, who has accepted this with a faith only a child could have. I'm thankful for God's promise that Lincoln and I will be reunited, and the faith He gave me to trust in it. I'm thankful for God's power to make life and death decisions, for His wisdom in seeing a picture so big it is beyond our comprehension, and for orchestrating all of life according to that wisdom, not our human wishes. I'm thankful that He made me who I am, and sent me all these wonderful people who help me just by being who they are. I'm thankful He reminds me that we all suffer, and that if we are smart, we will suffer together instead of choosing to suffer alone.

Most of all, even when the only footprint I can see right now is a post-mortem print of Lincoln's, I'm thankful that I know that God is carrying me.

For Lincoln

2009-12-01T17:27:00.000-08:00

The Broken Chain

We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

--Author Unknown--

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T11:41:00.001-08:00

Gratitude and thankfulness today. Blessed with the bountiful abundance of love, support, generosity. God has blessed me with the best family, genetic and chosen, that a person could ever wish for. God has blessed me with strength and endurance. God has blessed me with Truth. He has blessed me with His love and sovereignty and made me thankful that we truly belong to Him. He has blessed me with a heart to feel, a mind to reason, a soul that calls out to Him. He has blessed me with an understanding of the true depth of love. I have been blessed with the experience of all the facets of love, both the joyous and the crushing. I have been blessed. God's greatest blessings to all of you.

The latest of the late

2009-09-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

So. We've been in the new place for a while. It's sorta coming together. Work is busy. Some aspects of the homelife are kinda hinky.

However, Linc just turned 2! Some pics for you!!

Obviously, Linc liked his cake. He very much enjoyed eating it and fingerpainting it. I've spared you from the picture that shows what that bath did to the tub. He is now a two year old, may God have mercy on us all.

HIYA!

2009-08-06T19:29:00.000-07:00

Hey guess what?!?! I'm back! I have really fast internet!!! I will be able to load pictures (if I remember how) and update everyone! How exciting is this?!?!

Yay!! Check it out:

How's that?!?!

Anyway, more to come!!!

I'm Baaaaaaack!

2008-09-21T22:22:00.000-07:00

But, unfortunately no pictures for you yet. Two reasons for this. One, my house still has boxes in it. And on it. And next to it. I can't put up pictures until it's pretty. Two, I only have the shittiest of shitty dial-up internet connections and just LOOKING at pictures online takes for-freaking-ever. Imagine how long it would take to actually load them here. I'm not saying it'll never happen, I'm just saying it'll have to wait until I can find the right time. A time when I have a while to sit here and curse and nurture my patience with alcohol. It'll come eventually, no later than the end of the month because I'm a hell of a lot less likely to have such a time after the hubby gets started on school. I have no doubt that he will then turn into the biggest weenie on earth who is SOOOO much more tired than I am, never mind that my new clients are much more inclined to beat on me than my old ones. This has already been proved, incidentally.

So, life here. Yeah, not sure yet. It's pretty. It's quiet. But, it's not without issues. There's the neighbor thing. The work thing. The house thing. The car thing. The being without my friends and family thing. That last one is the current big one for me. My mom came to visit me over the weekend and when she left it was decently rotten. I have thought many times that I'd give anything to turn back time and tell the hubby that he must have lost his frickin' marbles. Not only can I not do that, but I can't in good concience even tell him that I'm struggling with this. It's a little late to throw a big batch of resentment his way. After all, I've put up with his school crap for the last five years or so. I got to spew in a big way after that last shit-storm he lobbed my way. Now? I get dragged to this place, where I'm without most of the important people in my life, in a new job, away from my children most of the day, with a dead car, living in a house that I'm fighting the insect population for, and I feel like I can't do this for five more years, let alone one. I know I'm probably being an ungrateful asshole, but after the week I've had I can't make myself care. I know that the hubby isn't aiming our course in life, and if I wasn't having a weak (and miserable) moment I could chalk this up to the momentary failing of my faith that it is, but I'm just too ground down to do that right now. Right now, this just feels like an enormous mistake that is too huge to correct. It's not a good day for optimism, which for me is really saying something. Hopefully, I'm better tomorrow, because I can't handle feeling like this all the time. I'd go nuts.

That being said, or purged really, I'm going to sign off for now. I'll be back with some photos soon. Lets just hope that none of the photos include anyone I know being burned in effigy.

The last post from home.

2008-08-29T22:10:00.001-07:00

Thanks for everything! It's been great!

So, see ya when I see ya!

2008-08-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

This will probably be my last post for a while. As my loyal (2, sweet!, but sad) readers know, I'm moving to a smelly, funkified land far, far away.

This is taking up a lot of time, and soon my computer will be in a box. I can't post while my computer is in a box.

So, just so y'all know, I love ya, will miss ya, and I'll be back on here as soon as I can. Assuming this doesn't kill me, that is.

In the meantime, I expect you to behave yourselves, and I expect you to miss me soooo much that it keeps you up all night and you start to waste away from the pining.

Or. You could just sniffle a bit. Yeah. That'd be cool too.

Oh, just forget it.

2008-08-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

The last couple of months have been the kind of months during which everything goes wrong.

Everything.

The latest in this string of wrong-goings was my oldest son's appointment with the pediatrician. Turns out, my six-and-a-half-year-old son is losing weight. He's already the skinniest kid his age I've ever seen, and apparently the Adderall he's on has caused even less appetite, resulting in weight loss. This is the thing I was dreading the first time we were told it was a possibility with ADHD medication. I mean, he's already the son of parents who were both scrawny as hell for most of their lives, he (just like us) either doesn't notice he's hungry or forgets to eat when he's busy, he (just like us) has a severe and gerbil-like metabolism, he (just like us, well me, anyway)likes fruit and veggies and things that are good for him but not terribly high in fat or calories. I've had to start researching what a nutritious, high fat, high calorie diet looks like. The bummer part is that he eats a lot of the things on the list, just not in any great quantity. We eat cheese, meats, milk, ice cream, and the like often. He's just not eating much of them, or not enough apparently. I keep telling people I can offer and put the food in front of him but I can't make him eat it. I really can't. I'm concerned that people will start to think I don't feed him at all. I mean, geez, he's the skinniest kid around and my youngest is not even a year old and he's the size of a two-year-old. It looks weird, even to me. He was the skinniest kid at swimming lessons. He's so skinny he doesn't float. At all. How freaking skinny do you have to be not to float?!? Well, his head floats, but I'm not sure that makes me feel any better.

Anyway, the doctor gave us some supplemental powder stuff that is supposed to help and I asked the hubby to pick up some PediaSure on his way home. If anyone has any other ideas or recipes to help with this, I'd be grateful. I thought I'd see about instant breakfast too. Maybe one of each with every meal during the day? Plus snacks? Hmmmm.....

Random Crap.

2008-08-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

Today has been a weird day. Aside from all the icky, stressy stuff I'm dealing with, I've laughed harder today than I have in a long time. Why? Check some of this stuff out and you'll see.

Cakewrecks

You Had Me at Idiot

So Close

So funny! I read all the way through the first and just laughed my heinie off. The second made me laugh so hard I was actually hunched over at one point with my hand over my mouth laughing so hard I was crying. The third, well, she's always got something good to say.

Moving on, I'm somewhat addicted to catalogs. I've never ordered from one, but I love to get them. It's like window shopping from the comfort of home. They kinda confuse me though. First off, sweaters are my favorite article of clothing next to jeans. I love sweaters. They are warm, comfy, can be casual or dressy and can hide a multitude of flaws if you're careful about the cut. I think we can all agree, however, that a sweater is a cold-weather item of clothing, for the purpose of keeping warm. Because I believe this to be true I don't understand why clothing manufacturers label shirts as sweaters when they are cut low enough that one's belly button is visable. How does that keep me warm? Is cleavage (not to mention rib cage, waist and abdomen) really a cold weather accesory? Added to that is the fact that all the really good sweaters, the ones with high necks, long sleeves and a long waists, are either a hand wash item or a dry clean item. All the rediculous sweaters that I would never wear were machine wash. Figures.

The other item that I find frustrating is pants. I have longish legs and a smallish waist. This is not a good combination unless you are rich enough to spend $200 on a pair of jeans. For broke people like me it means that I am constantly trying to find a pair of jeans that are inexpensive and small enough in the waist WHILE being long enough in the legs. If I were to choose a pair of pants that fits perfectly while standing up I could get away with 34 inches. I like my pants to be a bit long at the ankle so my socks don't show when I'm sitting so I generally prefer 36. The problem with most jeans for women is that you don't get to pick the length. I'm not sure if it's generally thought that all women of a particular waist size have legs of the same length or what. Well, I found a catalog that specializes in women with long legs. Unfortunately, it is full of mom-waisted jeans and pants, Victoria's Secret-esque tops and all of it is selling for a small fortune. Thanks for nothing.

Today around lunchtime I put my youngest in his highchair for his midday snack. I then went to the bathroom to pee and did the worst wipe job ever because I heard him choking. I ran back to the dining room (while buttoning my pants) to save my baby to find him grinning at me. He then returned to his new hobby of gagging himself with his fingers repeatedly while I sat in a chair and tried to keep my heart in my chest.

It's been a really interesting day. And it's not even close to being over.

A Request.

2008-08-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

For my SIL. She needs prayers, y'all. She's in a hard place, and her family too.

Send them her way, will you?

I'm with you, sis. I know how this feels, and I know it's bad.
Time is on your side, your friends and family are near you,
and God continues to hold you close to his heart.
Love you.

Crafty crapola.

2008-08-05T13:06:00.001-07:00

This is the hat laying flat.

This is the blanket stitching on the bottom.

This is the cross stitching on the top.

This is my very annoyed son being the model!

FEED MY FRANKENSTEIN!!

2008-08-01T08:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my fabulous SIL, I got to see Alice Cooper in concert last night!

It was an awesome show and I enjoyed every bit of it! As the original shock-rocker he didn't disappoint, the stage show was killer, the music was great and the crowd was totally insane.

However, I bet all the morons who didn't bother to find out who Alice Cooper is or what kind of show he puts on felt really stupid for bringing their toddlers, as they should.

Dumbasses. Witness, part of the show:

Does this look like the kind of guy you want to explain to your kids under the age of ten?

Added to that was the moronic woman who sat behind us who actually wanted us to sit down because she couldn't see. Too freakin bad, lady. This is an Alice Cooper concert. If you wanna see you either need to stand the hell up, like everyone else, or get a concert dvd and watch it at home. Better yet, stay at Munch 'N' Music, where you belong.

Narcissism Central

2008-07-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

I am pissed off today. I'm not going to say I woke up that way, it would be stupid considering I'm never amiable before I've had my first four cups of coffee. However, now I am pissed. And annoyed. And generally disappointed with humanity, or at least the shallow humanity in this country.

What is it that matters so much about weight? I get that to be very large can be a real blow to your health, but beyond that why do we care so much? There seems to be a real hostility blooming (festering?) towards the bigger folk in our society. My SIL once sent me a link to a news program about the cartoon movie out about the samurai panda, whatever the heck it was called. Some pointy-faced, bony, blond, pinch-lipped prude was going on and on about how the movie promotes, for lack of a better word, fatness. Are you freaking kidding me?!? Nobody said a word about violence or language or any of the other things that would actually help me decide whether or not my kids should be allowed to view this movie. It was all about how this evil movie made it sound okay to be fat. First off, prude b*tch, giant pandas are no lightweights. Females usually weigh slightly less than 220 pounds while males can reach 250 pounds. They spend between 10 and 16 hours a day finding food, and they require about 80 pounds of food a day. Guess what else they do? They eat the food they find and they sleep. While people seem to think that pandas are vegetarian because the eat a lot on bamboo, they are actually carnivores, and they are as dangerous as any other bear. What does this mean? It means that if a panda heard the pointy prude calling him fat he would feel free to very capably kill her and eat her for dinner. This would work out well since she's so insubstantial he'd just think she was an excessively wiggly bamboo stalk. And if he didn't think she'd be tasty, and I couldn't fault him for that, he could just sit on her.

Secondly, since when does a string bean who has no medical or dietetic degrees even get off judging what makes someone fat? Dom Deluise was a big star for years, a truly funny guy and very likable. I don't remember ever thinking that since Dom was a big man, and successful, it must be ok for me to aspire to his size. I used to like to listen to Courtney Love and I never decided it was ok for me to try and become a violent, heroin-addicted, self-absorbed singer either. I like Ben and Jerry's but I've never thought it would be ok for me to try and become ice cream. I think it's far more likely that children will decide that they want to be a panda, a samurai or, in my son's case, a water tower because they are the biggest, that they won't even really comprehend the nonexistent issue of fatness. Or if they do they will want their poor, annoyed mommies to Google pandas to see what they are really like, like mine did after one preview. What did mine decide after we had sufficiently educated ourselves on the panda? That they are really cute and that he wants a stuffed one. What does this mean to my overall rant? That the pointy prude is so afraid of getting fat herself that she is willing slam a kids movie on a nationwide news show. What a self-important little prig! I'd be willing to bet that if she has any of her own kids they are well on their way to eating disorders. And too, what the hell is wrong with showing kids that people come in all shapes and sizes, but that their shape or size really has no importance?

Something else that annoys me is when someone famous loses a bunch of weight and is immediately lauded as some sort of hero, no matter if they accomplished it with gastric bypass or whatever. Star Jones Reynolds, for example. I thought she was really pretty on the View when she was heavy. She had a lovely face and I fully admit to paying little to no attention to her figure. She lost a bunch of weight, was photographed extensively and proved a few things to me. She looked lovely when she was bigger, she was never dressed like an insane hooker when she was bigger, and that she has a face that was never, EVER meant to be skinny. She looks like Michael Jackson. There is nothing left of the person that I used to admire on the View. Wynonna, on the other hand is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful ladies I've ever seen, and I think her weight is part of it. She is lush and rich everywhere, her hair, her face, her body and her voice. Ann Wilson from Heart is also beautiful. Her skinny sidekick? Not so much. Queen Latifah is drop-dead gorgeous and has a glamour unmatched by any of her scrawny contemporaries, if you can call them that as there are few successful actresses with a music career like hers. All these fabulous women just prove to me that we are not all meant to be the same size. Also, are you aware that there is a movement to make Santa skinny? Fat Santa apparently also teaches children that fat is ok. It's a good thing Mother Theresa and Ghandi were skinny or they'd be out on their bottoms as influential folk. They were smart enough to know that starving does wonders for the figure!

Finally, I would like to point out that the vast majority of skinny women I've met in my life were so absorbed in their looks that they had an astonishing lack of character. They weren't especially honest, nor friendly and they seemed more interested in themselves than anything else. I met many who drove themselves into irreversible debt to keep their closets and cosmetic cases stocked and they never seemed to be able to manage a meaningful relationship with another human. They tended towards cattiness and competition and were mostly two-faced. The friends that I've enjoyed who couldn't fit into a size two pair of jeans have mostly been loyal, honest, intelligent people who sport great humor and a willingness to work at friendship.

So what's wrong with being fat? Nothing, unless you're a stupid, skinny, materialistic, jackass with nothing better to do with your time than nitpick a children's movie looking for imagined slights to your anorexic lifestyle.

That is all.

Um, does this fool ever get it?!?!?

2008-07-21T15:08:00.000-07:00

Hi Willis, you vacuous jackknife. Get a life will you?

Signed, ever disdainfully,
Query

The funnest 4th ever? Not quite.

2008-07-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

So. My dearest pal absconded with my oldest and treated him to the parade and to a festival that apparently involved food and face painting. Witness exhibit A:

This was a great thing since my youngest wasn't feeling up to the challenge and I doubt we would have gone anywhere because of that. Corb had a great time and talked of nothing else all afternoon. Linc was clingy, fussy and apparently constipated all day. He pooped several times, bunny nuggets mostly (thank you for the term, SIL), and didn't clear the offending stuff entirely until late evening.
I thought his disposition would improve after that. I was sooooo wrong! He remained clingy and fussy and added in jumpy once the noise started. I don't know if it was teething, feeling icky or just developmental insecurity but it wasn't fun. Finally, he settled down and this is how he spent the 4th:

At least one of us felt at peace. Happy 4th y'all!

*Update* So, in the house-hunt. I have sent a number of e-mails to people renting out houses and I just got one back. I requested some photos and the woman sent me six. I was pleased until I found out that there were two of the front door, three of the kitchen from almost the same angle and one of the bathroom mirror. Ever so helpful, don't you agree? That one is no longer on my list.

An update about a whole lot of nothing.

2008-07-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

My week thus far.

Monday we were still recovering from the weekend with as little activity as possible.

Tuesday we wandered into town to go to a birthday party at the local bowling/video game/mini-golf/go-cart place and that was fun.

Wednesday my mom came in the early evening to see the kids and we went for drinks at the pub to catch up, since she'd just come back from New Mexico. She caught me up on the extended family and I caught her up on the college crap we are dealing with now. Got home from that, put the kids to bed and started a movie (License to Wed) which sucked. We watched maybe 30-45 minutes of it and then shut it off. I then vaccuumed the whole house (except the boys' room, they were sleeping in it) and spot cleaned all the carpets and rugs. They look much better today, but I think we'll still rent a carpet cleaner before we move and do them again. I'd like to move with clean rugs.

So, yeah. My week has been pretty boring so far, and I'm ok with that. I've visited with a few pals, but mostly it's just the daily grind. Here are some random photos for your enjoyment.

The housing scare..

2008-06-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, we received an offer for an apartment from the campus housing office. As most of you also know, there were many things about this offer I was less than excited about. There were no W/D hookups, the nearest laundry room was two buildings away, it was listed as a three bedroom that was less than 800 square feet, it was on the third floor, and they were giving us three business days to pay them over $800 for an apartment we couldn't even move into until mid August. Yeah, I was pissed.

So, like the sane, reasonable people we are, we told them to keep their panties on, we were going to drive over on Saturday and look at said apartment. They said great, call when you hit town and we'll have someone meet you. Sounds so simple, doesn't it?!?!

Unfortunately, simple was not what it was. We left Saturday morning and things looked good. The kids were doing well, Corb had lots of toys to keep him busy and we waited to leave until Linc was ready to sleep so he lasted about ten minutes or so and passed out. It was warm, but not too warm and the car was happily tuned up and running beautifully. We stopped at a lake of some sort on the way over to let the kids out and Corb happily threw rocks and driftwood and we hiked a little ways up the river feeding the lake and basked in the cold air the rushing water provided. We even dipped Linc's toes in, but he didn't like that. Oh well, we tried. After a short jaunt we headed out again, stopping to grab some lunch. We hit town at about somewhere between 1 and 2:30 and called the housing office. Guess what? They couldn't meet with us until 8. That's right, if we wanted to see an apartment we had to wait until 8pm! I was, needless to say, a little annoyed. Do these idiots not know that my kids go to bed at 8:30?? Grr. But, what choice did I have? So we said fine, decided to bag all responsibility and drove to the coast.

The coast? FREEZING!!! The temperature was measuring a high of about 101 degrees in Eugene so it was nice at first. We had to buy sweatshirts at the coast as we didn't know we were going to be there and hadn't packed anything but extra shorts and t-shirts for the kids. After blowing about fifty dollars on crap off the clearance racks we headed for the beach. We got the children all bundled up (luckily, I did bring a million blankies and so Linc was wrapped up like a burrito in his stroller) and wandered down the beach. With the wind chill I figure the temp was somewhere between 35-45. It was seriously cold. We didn't stay long, jumped back in the car, cranked the heater and headed to Dutch Bros. We loaded up with coffees and cocoas and drove back to Eugene. The kids were still doing great in the car and I was starting to become a little nervous about it. How long could this last?

We got back to Eugene with a little time to spare, found a grass courtyard at the apartment complex and let Corb play while Linc snacked on a blankie. Incidentally, the best place for Linc to sit and be ignored is on a blankie on the grass. He hates grass so much you couldn't get him off that blankie with the promise of a million sharp things to put in his mouth. So, Linc snacked, B and I talked and Corb filled his pockets with play yard sand. Eventually, the housing gal showed up. Her name, I kid you not, was Abra. As in, Cadabra. I swear. She walked us around the complex, which looked decently clean and nice. I was even impressed with how many families were out playing on the grass at that hour. Then she showed us an apartment. I suddenly understood why all these people were outside. One must go outside when one must escape the depression brought on by the darkest, most cramped little caves possible to live in. There were five tiny windows, one in each room. I got an impression of the color of the carpet, it looked dark but I can't be sure. The kitchen was about one quarter of the size of my current kitchen and the living room was about one third the size of my current living room. I'm not sure our queen bed would fit in any of the bedrooms but by way of consolation Abra informed me that none of the closets have doors so you can put shelves and things in them. Huh. The only thing in the apartment that looked normal size was the bathroom. The ceilings were low and the living room and kitchen windows failed to give off any light because they were directly under staircases. The floors were that unforgiving combination of carpet over concrete and the entire place was just dark, cramped and depressing. We waved Abra off after thanking her profusely for her time, got back into the car and just sat there for a minute. We turned to each other at the same time and said "NO!"

We got something to eat and headed home. The kids fell asleep after about twenty minutes in the car and slept the whole way. B and I talked and watched the lightning storm we happened to be driving under. We decided that since we are allotted the same amount of money for housing whether we live in campus housing or not that we are going with not. After some online research it's very obvious that there are much better, cheaper places to live and some of them are actually pretty close to campus, and come with a washer, dryer, dishwasher, yard and so on. All within our budget and all places the Flintstones wouldn't feel at home in. We even found a three bedroom HOUSE that has a two car garage, a huge backyard, a fireplace and all appliances that is well within our price range. So yeah, no hole in the wall for us.

All in all, a very educational trip. I got to see why this university is the way it is and I learned that my youngest loves being in the car.

Not bad, really.

The crazy place I now live in.

2008-06-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

I thought this was going to complicate things enough:

But then this came along:

Yeah, I'm in trouble.

Updating!

2008-05-30T12:12:00.000-07:00

Here are the newer photos you've all been waiting for!

Cute, eh?

Off we go!

2008-05-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

So. This weekend we are off to Eugene to look at housing (of the campus variety) check out the area and attend the DH's orientation. I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised by the housing available, it's location and it's proximity to a good elementary school.

I had hoped that we would be able to get into the DH's grandparents house as it was vacant for some time but it seems that one of his cousins (?) is now living there with her boyfriend.

I'm thinking this will actually be a good thing as we've had a bit of trouble lately with the boys sharing a room. My oldest has a bit of a cough and it's been waking up the youngest who starts crying which wakes up the oldest and then they wake us up.
Yay for all the middle of the night fun. It is now much harder to deal with since the youngest has been sleeping all the way through the night for a little while now and I admit that I have gotten somewhat used to it. DH put a three bedroom as our first choice on the housing application followed by a four bedroom, then two and so on. Our last choice is an apartment and I'm fervently praying we don't end up in that!

I'm busy trying to figure out what the boys need to spend the weekend at Grandma's house. The oldest is pretty easy, the youngest is significantly less so. He's pretty stuck in his routine so I have a feeling we'll end up packing about eight million pounds of stuff so that he doesn't give her too hard a time. It will be a little easier as we've decided to take them out and come back to the house so DH can have a quick look at my car (it's having a little trouble), I can go to the gym, we can grab our stuff and hit the road. I was somewhat concerned about packing their stuff AND our stuff into that tiny little car and still having room for car seats and human bodies. I figure that will work out the best since the road to G-ma's house and the road we need to be point in two completely different directions. I'm pretty sure we'd have to come back this way anyway.

I will admit to all my usual misgivings about moving. I'm not a big fan of it, it takes me months to feel like I live somewhere. I think this actually qualifies as one of my major neuroses. I feel like I'm a house guest when I move. I'm somewhat uncomfortable in the shower, using the bathroom, changing my clothes and things of that ilk. I think some small part of my brain expects the people that really DO live in the new place to come barging in at any second and accidentally view me in my nakedness with embarrassment and humiliation for all. The rest of my brain knows it's not going to happen, we live here now. There are no other people in the house and of the ones that live with me only one isn't ever supposed to see me with no clothes on. I haven't ever found something that has combated this, but who knows? Maybe this move will be the one that teaches me to move with confidence and comfort.

The other difficulties I think are more reasonable. I'm concerned about moving so far away from my family and friends into a much bigger city and, of course, being surrounded by hippies who only shit organic wheat grass. I'm sure I'll be wildly popular. Can't you just see the look on the face of the first person that finds out that I don't believe in global warming? THAT, dear friends, should be a hoot! It will be fun to see how nonviolent these hippies really are. I've never moved with a kid so young and I'm thinking it will be logistically ugly. All the non-essentials are already going into boxes in the garage so I figure we'll just whittle away at it over the summer and hopefully there won't be much left to be done by the time we actually have to go. We have already been getting rid of things we no longer need for months so now it's just packing stuff we actually want to keep. I've been somewhat surprised by the things I've decided to keep in the past so now is a good time to reverse those decisions.

On a funnier note, DH came home yesterday and had been working with his shirt off. Those of you who know him are aware that he's almost an albino. He made a token attempt to put sunblock on his shoulders and then apparently got tired of that, put the sunblock away and got to work. He came home with a hilarious sunburn! His neck was all red as was most of his back but from about mid-shoulder blade to the bottom of his neck was pale. He has a stripe of normal skin that spans his shoulders. It looks like a red and white color block t-shirt. If it hadn't stung by the time he got home I would have laughed at him. I asked him why he didn't use the spray stuff and got the perpetually stupid "I dunno." Very funny!

Well, I'm off to continue packing up kid stuff. Have a good weekend everyone!

Other things I find randomly funny.

2008-05-05T14:20:00.001-07:00

I find this terribly funny. Who doesn't need a tattoo of a buffalo riding a bicycle? I can't imagine what this guy tells people when asked why he chose such a thing. I can only assume he likes being laughed at.

Would you take this guy seriously?

2008-04-29T17:05:00.000-07:00

Randomly came across this today and it struck me as funny.

As Seen....

2008-04-13T17:25:00.001-07:00

On a Chris Rock shirt:

"If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love."

That's the absolute truth, folks.