The Update of the Boy.

Just FYI, I had this all ready to post days ago and my computer froze up. Hence, it is a little late. But better late than never, I always say.

Thanks for all the advice! We are following a plan of action we have thoroughly discussed. First, I got online and found some info on child abuse. We then showed him what child abuse looks like and informed him that this is what often happens to kids who run away from home. We talked about some of the stories available and when we got to end I asked him if he really wanted to run away. His answer was a resounding no! I told him that such horrible things happen to runaways he should be grateful to live in a house with parents who love him, treat him well and take good care of him. He agreed. I asked him not to say that anymore and told him not to even joke about it. He agreed to that too.

As far as the attention issue, I understand that he feels that this is unfair. I absolutely agree with him. Parenting more than one child is unfair. That's just the way it is. At almost six years old, he is able to entertain himself while I am busy. He has chosen not to do this. He has also chosen to break long-standing rules while at home. We have informed him that when he breaks these rules it causes his parents to become very frustrated. Frustrated parents are not likely to give him what he's after so it is in his best interests to avoid doing so. He is old enough, smart enough and quite capable enough to follow the rules and had been doing so admirably for quite some time. While I understand that he may need more attention I cannot in good conscience reward his bad behavior by giving him what he wants. If he gets sent to his room for back-talking or refusing to listen I am not going to go in there and entertain him. Discipline is not supposed to be fun or make him feel good. We still talk about why he is in trouble and remind him that since he knows the rules and chooses to disobey them, he has chosen to be punished. He knows that a crappy attitude, defiance, sassing, nagging, arguing, throwing tantrums, whining and lying get him into trouble. Lately he's been racking up every one of those on a daily basis. Sometimes it seems provoked by circumstances, sometimes he just does it for the heck of it. What's more, he absolutely MUST have consequences for these behaviors every time to maintain consistency.

That being said, I have offered him the opportunity to earn back a trip to the Pumpkin Patch by doing some chores and maintaining good behavior until Sunday. He's blowing it pretty badly so far, but you never know. He's allowed to earn back a toy a day with good behavior but he's lost every toy within a day or two of earning it back. The way I explained it to him is that he keeps pushing and pushing until nobody wins. That when he is in trouble we all lose. We lose time together, we lose fun, and none of us are happy or content. He seems to understand this to some extent. We'll just have to see where he takes it from here.

*Update* Corbin has improved mightily since I wrote this. He has even displayed some seriously selfless behavior, like forgoing outside play so he could be inside where I could hear him while I dealt with a baby that didn't feel good. He did so cheerfully and behaved wonderfully well while that happened. He got super kudos from his dad and me and seems more open to trying harder. Yay for him, and us!