Life is Interesting.
Hard to disagree with, isn't it? You gotta love the constant change in life. Things never stay the same. This is sometimes good and sometimes not so good. I like things to stay the same most of the time. I like continuity. I like the comfort that is afforded by always knowing where you stand and where everything is.
I hated it when they rearranged the grocery store, for example. It looked nice, I agree, but it took me forever to find anything. I hate having to track down one of the overworked and underpaid employees and ask them where the stupid spaghetti sauce is. It just feels superfluous. I like to just know. The kind of just knowing that comes from years of familiarity, that can't be substituted for anything else.
The same can be said of people. I like for people to be what I know them to be. When you have known someone for a long time and are fairly used to the way they are, it is hard to find out you were so wrong. To suddenly have to admit that your judgment was off, that you were bamboozled.
On the other hand, sometimes it sucks just as much to know that you were right all along. Especially if others were so dead set on defending the person to you no matter the provocation.
Today I found out that some things never stay the same, that I was right about a person, and that I was dead wrong about another person. I don't feel terribly bad about it, to be honest. There was a small part of me that saw these changes coming from a million miles away. I didn't want to admit that I knew, but it was there.
Sometimes you have a hunch. You want it to be wrong, you hope the person will surprise you with something so good that you have to say to yourself "Wow! That's awesome! I never thought I would see the day!" and whatever it is you never thought that you'd see is so great that you have to sit yourself down and reevaluate all those things you thought that were a bit uncomplimentary and find out if you were a worse person for thinking them.
When you are proven right, you only sit down and think about all the wasted time. You muse to yourself that you should've tied yourself to this person in the first place instead of going with instinct. I always assume that my instincts should never be trusted, flawed as they are. I think I'll give them more credence in the future, although always with a diagnostic review.
So the question remains, what to do now? Sometimes instinct and logic play the same tune. I like those days because it is so much easier. I don't have to think and ponder and chew my nails wondering if there is any chance at all that I'll make the right decision.
The answer is easy. I can base it on so many different aspects of my life. I am a busy person. School and work (as of tomorrow) will take up quite a bit of time, and I expect that my hubby and son and homelife will take up the rest. Throw in a little friend time and some time to maintain the hobbies that I love so much, and the answer is, well, just simple.
Walk away.
I hated it when they rearranged the grocery store, for example. It looked nice, I agree, but it took me forever to find anything. I hate having to track down one of the overworked and underpaid employees and ask them where the stupid spaghetti sauce is. It just feels superfluous. I like to just know. The kind of just knowing that comes from years of familiarity, that can't be substituted for anything else.
The same can be said of people. I like for people to be what I know them to be. When you have known someone for a long time and are fairly used to the way they are, it is hard to find out you were so wrong. To suddenly have to admit that your judgment was off, that you were bamboozled.
On the other hand, sometimes it sucks just as much to know that you were right all along. Especially if others were so dead set on defending the person to you no matter the provocation.
Today I found out that some things never stay the same, that I was right about a person, and that I was dead wrong about another person. I don't feel terribly bad about it, to be honest. There was a small part of me that saw these changes coming from a million miles away. I didn't want to admit that I knew, but it was there.
Sometimes you have a hunch. You want it to be wrong, you hope the person will surprise you with something so good that you have to say to yourself "Wow! That's awesome! I never thought I would see the day!" and whatever it is you never thought that you'd see is so great that you have to sit yourself down and reevaluate all those things you thought that were a bit uncomplimentary and find out if you were a worse person for thinking them.
When you are proven right, you only sit down and think about all the wasted time. You muse to yourself that you should've tied yourself to this person in the first place instead of going with instinct. I always assume that my instincts should never be trusted, flawed as they are. I think I'll give them more credence in the future, although always with a diagnostic review.
So the question remains, what to do now? Sometimes instinct and logic play the same tune. I like those days because it is so much easier. I don't have to think and ponder and chew my nails wondering if there is any chance at all that I'll make the right decision.
The answer is easy. I can base it on so many different aspects of my life. I am a busy person. School and work (as of tomorrow) will take up quite a bit of time, and I expect that my hubby and son and homelife will take up the rest. Throw in a little friend time and some time to maintain the hobbies that I love so much, and the answer is, well, just simple.
Walk away.
posted by The Writer at 2:43 PM
4 Comments:
Ugh. That does suck. I remember suffering a similar shock not too long ago. One thing that I had a hard time with was the thought that I had to be friends, etc, with this person or that, not that I could choose to be. In the end, for me, it was best to choose the possability of friendship and leave that door open, but there are times when I'd have loved to have that door closed and just walk away myself. It's a catch 22. Either way, it is hard. You do what you have to. Support to you.
Often times we put someone on a pedestal with no merit (not you Sabrina - merit not merritt :) hee hee) other than who they are to us, a friend, a brother or even an inlaw. Some positions come with "automatic" assumed respect. Some pedestals are from time spent together. When you spend years with someone you just assume that you have this history and unspoken loyalty. In this time your loyalty or respect is never really tested. Then one day push comes to shove and all that you thought that person was and the feelings you thought that person felt for you comes crashing down around your shoulders. That is a hard day. Good thing we have other people who love us and support us to get through these times when people let us down! And maybe and I would even say probably some new doors are opened. I can guarantee that some eyes were!
But what do you do when you're driving, all respectable-like, and that "friend" reaches over and jerks the wheel steering you into that brick wall. Still feed her through that straw? or do you concentrate on your own strained peas and leet her figure out for herself why you're both hurting?
Sabrina, you are the best! Great way of stating things, although I definitely get what you're saying, Daycare Mom. In this case, I feel that it has been a long downward spiral that we have all ignored, or were just fooling ourselves about so it isn't just current events re-shaping relationships, it's past events that are now making sense as well.
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