I'm Baaaaaaack!

But, unfortunately no pictures for you yet. Two reasons for this. One, my house still has boxes in it. And on it. And next to it. I can't put up pictures until it's pretty. Two, I only have the shittiest of shitty dial-up internet connections and just LOOKING at pictures online takes for-freaking-ever. Imagine how long it would take to actually load them here. I'm not saying it'll never happen, I'm just saying it'll have to wait until I can find the right time. A time when I have a while to sit here and curse and nurture my patience with alcohol. It'll come eventually, no later than the end of the month because I'm a hell of a lot less likely to have such a time after the hubby gets started on school. I have no doubt that he will then turn into the biggest weenie on earth who is SOOOO much more tired than I am, never mind that my new clients are much more inclined to beat on me than my old ones. This has already been proved, incidentally.

So, life here. Yeah, not sure yet. It's pretty. It's quiet. But, it's not without issues. There's the neighbor thing. The work thing. The house thing. The car thing. The being without my friends and family thing. That last one is the current big one for me. My mom came to visit me over the weekend and when she left it was decently rotten. I have thought many times that I'd give anything to turn back time and tell the hubby that he must have lost his frickin' marbles. Not only can I not do that, but I can't in good concience even tell him that I'm struggling with this. It's a little late to throw a big batch of resentment his way. After all, I've put up with his school crap for the last five years or so. I got to spew in a big way after that last shit-storm he lobbed my way. Now? I get dragged to this place, where I'm without most of the important people in my life, in a new job, away from my children most of the day, with a dead car, living in a house that I'm fighting the insect population for, and I feel like I can't do this for five more years, let alone one. I know I'm probably being an ungrateful asshole, but after the week I've had I can't make myself care. I know that the hubby isn't aiming our course in life, and if I wasn't having a weak (and miserable) moment I could chalk this up to the momentary failing of my faith that it is, but I'm just too ground down to do that right now. Right now, this just feels like an enormous mistake that is too huge to correct. It's not a good day for optimism, which for me is really saying something. Hopefully, I'm better tomorrow, because I can't handle feeling like this all the time. I'd go nuts.

That being said, or purged really, I'm going to sign off for now. I'll be back with some photos soon. Lets just hope that none of the photos include anyone I know being burned in effigy.