Here he is!!

 
 
 


These are the pics that we took home from the ultrasound. This is probably the only time it is appropriate or forgivable for me to puposely post a photo of one of my children that exposes his genitals so I will hopefully still have this blog when the first girlfriends are being brought home. Did you catch that? One of my children. Isn't that the coolest thing?!?!? I'm going to have two!!! Two beautiful little boys to love! The more I think about it the more excited I get. I really can't wait to see them together. They are already together in my heart but to have them together in my house, my sight, my arms, my life will be so wonderful and amazing I can't fathom it. I used to be afraid that if we had another baby I wouldn't be able to love Corbin as much as I do. I was afraid that I would hurt him by wanting to give all I had to a helpless new little person and that he would be left out in the cold and know it. I know better now. I already love this new baby but it hasn't taken away from my love for Corbin at all. It's still there and still as strong and huge and overwhelming as it ever was. This isn't to say that he doesn't drive me crazy, he does. But as my son, and a 5-year-old, that is his job. I love him anyway. I know that I will be able to be a good mom to both of them and that, with a wonderful daddy like Brandon in the house neither of them will ever have reason to feel left out in the cold. My SIL, the smarty-pants, told me all of this at one point although not word for word or anything. I confess I didn't get it. I didn't think she was making it up, or that she was incorrect, I just didn't have the capacity to understand it. I must have still been in my baby honeymoon with Corbin or something. You know, that place where your brain can't fully grasp anything that is about something other than your only baby. Corb monopolized our minds and lives like that for a long time. It was fun, but I was happy to grow a life that had adult aspects in it. Now I don't think that will happen again, at least not to the same degree. I think this is actually healthier. I want to love my kids, think about them and be dedicated to doing what is best for them. I don't want to be totally obsessed with them. What's more, I'm not sure they would really enjoy me being obsessed with them in the long run. I have met parents who are obsessed with their children and it isn't a pretty sight. The kids grew up screwed up and the parents got one heck of a raw deal. I'm going to endeavor to love my kids bit still allow them to be seperate beings and to have some independance. And me too.