It could be a Hat! Or a Brooch! Or a Pterodactyl!

Aren't scarves fun!

It's the Annual Hubby Bash!

Ok. I am aware that I am picky beyond all comprehension and I'm ok with that. However. How hard is it to do your own dishes? Seriously? How long does that jackass think I want to spend standing in front of the sink? If a person decides to make eighteen batches of cookies then that person should do their own damn dishes. I don't think I should be the one to have to do nine hundred dishes I had no part in dirtying, especially if they weren't ever rinsed out. Don't I have enough to do with all the bottle washing I'm stuck with lately? I. Think. So.

Some of you remember the Peeps rant of a couple of years ago. This time, it's the Mallowmars. How on God's green earth can an average-sized man eat an ENTIRE package of Mallowmars while his tired wife is feeding the baby? HOW?!?! It is beyond human understanding. I stashed those for me! That jerk has more chocolate cravings than a menopausal divorcee. I actually had a moment where my blackened heart hoped they made him sick and the sheer glut of them would cause him to vomit up his toes. Ha! Bet they don't taste so good in reverse, asshat!!

Don't pick on me about sex. You get to sleep through the night. You didn't sqeeze a sqirming seven-plus pound baby out your hoo-hoo. You don't have to struggle to shift gears enough just to fall asleep. So my hormones are somewhat stop-and-go and your score rate is a bit erratic. Get over it. It's your soap and your junk and you can wash for as long and as fast as you like. Keep acting like a sulky first grader and the closest you'll get to this piece of ass is to smooch it right before I kick your teeth in.

FYI, I don't mind doing your laundry. After all, I do everyone else's so why should I care? However. I will henceforth be refraining from unballing sweaty socks. If you put them in the hamper that way that is how you will be getting them back. I don't care if they end up in your dresser drawer moldering and smelling of mildewed detergent, I consider this no longer my problem. If you wake up on a freezing cold morning and only have damp socks to wear, try not to wake me. That way you won't be offended when I point and laugh at you.

*This is merely an unburdening of sorts. I love my hubby, think he is well nigh perfect, but he occasionally pisses me off. This is how I vent so I can talk to him in a normal voice without using the F-word too many times. If he shines me on, however, he may just get this word-for-word.

Hilarious Holiday Hilarity!!!

As circulated by the Associated Press and MSN:

NEW YORK - A luxury grocery store in Manhattan made a food faux pas, advertising hams as "Delicious for Chanukah."

Chanukah - an alternate spelling for Hanukkah - is the eight-day Jewish holiday that began Tuesday evening, and hams, as well as pork and other products from pigs, can't be eaten under Jewish dietary laws.

A woman who saw the mistake over the weekend at the Balducci's store on 14th Street took pictures of the signs and posted them on her blog.

Jennifer Barton, director of marketing, told The Associated Press on Thursday that the signs were changed as soon as the error was noted.

She issued an apology on the company Web site, saying the company would be reviewing its employee training.



Ha!!

Yes, I know it's been a while.

You can't blame a girl for being busy. You can try, but I will slough off any attempt to blame and pretend I can't hear you. I may even cover my ears, dance around and shout "Na na na na I can't hear you!!"

Life is crazy-busy around here these days. Work, kids, house, high-maintenace hubby and so on. Who has time to blog? I'd probably do more of it if I were smart enough to set up the coffee maker next to the computer. Then I'd probably never leave.

Work is pretty good although it's somewhat disorienting to be there after such a long absence. I enjoy it but spending so much time there just makes the rest of my life crazier. Hopefully after we move it won't be an issue. I think our goal is for me to stay home and drive myself nuts with nonexistant household bacteria and poopy diapers.

Brandon will be graduating in June. His GPA is awesome and I'm super proud of him. He's a truly tenacious person.

Corbin is doing well in school. He's not hit Linc purposely since The Incident. Thank God. I've promised to let him live but I reserve the right to change my mind once summer vacation hits.

Linc is also doing well. He's up to around fifteen pounds and drooling like mad. He's still cheerful more often than not so it seems he's gotten my personality. I pretty sure Corb got Brandon's, nuff said. What a couple of poo-pooers.

That's the current info on my fam. We saw Trans-Siberian Orchestra with D and J and had the best time. They are the best people on earth to travel with and the show was amazing. We don't have anything fab coming up so we're just doing the daily grind.

On a sidenote, we are attempting to teach Corb about the merits of privacy, tact, and personal space. Ha. I must be glutton for punishment.