Life is weird.

So here I am, wandering aimlessly down the path of pregnancy and not putting too much thought into the differences between one kid and two. I'm not sure why this fails to set off alarm bells in my head, it probably should. I don't know if it is because I became so very good at "just getting through it" with Corbin that I know that while fun and amazing, this will be something else I will just have to get through. I know that this baby will offer me all the fun and snuggling and love that Corbin did, but it's still hard to be at home with a brand new baby. Especially if I get two colicky ones in a row. I've never been good at having a normal life without a full regimen of sleep, which I think sort of mystifies my mommy friends who are excel at it as well as the ones who are just so used to it that it fails to faze them anymore. I haven't played in the no-sleep lottery in a really long time. At least a couple of years, maybe actually a few. Now we all sleep through the night 98% of the time. The other 2% can be attributed to such non-baby reasons as: loud neighbors, insomnia, midnight snack raids, bad dreams (Corbin) involving him crying a bit and falling asleep in our bed, failing to get to sleep on time due to the new book I'm reading and not being able to set it down, nocturnal aerobics, and other things that tend to steal sleep, but not a lot of it. I've not had much insomnia with this pregnancy, and I'm grateful for it. I'm tired enough during the day without missing my sleep at night. I'm consoling myself with the logic that it won't matter how tired, stupid and unprepared I am once the baby comes, I won't have to go to work for a while. So if I'm exhausted, dumb as a brick and frumpy during that time, who cares? I won't really be going anywhere and the baby sure as heck won't care. Brandon will just be happy that I'm upright and Corb only cares if it effects something he wants, like dinner or his ability to play GameCube. Some other things that I haven't felt concerned about (yet?) are losing weight after (either it'll come off or it won't), the right time to return to work (I'll probably just know), our financial situation (it'll be a while before I can do anything about that), or how Corbin will handle this (what are his options?). I don't know if any of these issues will turn into panic later, I just know that the only reaction they illicit from me now is a shrug. Am I living in denial? I don't know. All I know is that I'm not really concerned about it. I'll figure it all out when I get there, and since I have really supportive family and friends it'll be that much easier or at least more fun to bitch about. If there's one thing I've learned from all my Girlfriends it's that with a little help and support (and sometimes with none) a mommy can get through anything. I've seen my mommy pals weather the worst emotional storms, usually accompanied by physical hardship, financial disaster, marital difficulty, PMS, a household chocolate shortage, a household, unfinished chores, behavioral crises with the other children and a mother-in-law who wouldn't shut up. There really isn't anything a mommy can't do, and do spectacularly under the worst circumstances. I'm not saying that I happen to be one of these paragons of perserverance, that would be hilarious, I'm more of the limping-along-just-barely-making-it type, but I've proven that things like six-month colic and baby constipation can be survived. I wouldn't have thought it at the time, but it can. And if I can get through it, anyone can. And I suppose I could even do it twice, but I hope to God that I don't have to!!

A word of warning...

This is a letter a friend of mine received through one of her "Mommy Groups." I thought it was significant enough to merit public response.

Hello fellow friends and parents,
I am writing to tell you about something that recently happened to me which
was very disturbing and unpleasant. I recently dined out at Baltazar's
Restaurant with my friends the Liebmans and the Lindekoffs. We had a sitter
for Sachi and Jade, and brought Kobe because he was only a few months old
and slept most of the time. Three different staff people there were very
unpleasant to us because we brought the baby and treated us very rudely
despite the fact that he slept the entire time and never made a peep.
Baltazar himself made it a point to come over to our table to tell Tom and I
(and I quote-) that "they do not specialize in children" so we had to put
him on the floor since there was no highchair to set his car seat into.

A few weeks ago, I was encouraged to write the restaurant a letter because
of how rude they had been to us so I finally got around to it this week.
After asking for approval from the MOMS Club of Bend board members to use
letterhead, I wrote to Baltazar describing our experience and asked him to
consider purchasing one highchair to accommodate parents with a small child
who may dine at the restaurant.

Baltazar called me today and made it very clear that he does not want any
children in his restaurant. In fact, his exact words were, "We are not
going to buy even one highchair because we don't want them (kids) here."
When I suggested to him that Bend was a family friendly community and that
by treating patrons disrespectfully for accidentally bringing a child into
the restaurant is actually not good for his business and he was shutting out

a corner of the market, he asked me if I was threatening him, told me he
would sue me and then concluded the conversation with a "GO TO H*** YOU
F****** B****."

was completely stunned and shocked by having been treated this way- but
after being harassed in the restaurant for having a sleeping 8 week old with
us, I guess I should not be surprised.

There are many other establishments in this community that would never treat
their patrons in this manner- and I hope you will consider joining me in
finding alternative dining options where people are treated with dignity and
respect, whether or not their children are with them.

As I told Baltazar, I completely support restaurants approaching customers
who have unruly children, or whose children are disrupting the dining
experiences of the other patrons and politely asking them to get the
situation under control or leave- but blatant rudeness such as his
demonstrates poor business etiquette. If Baltazar's policy is
anti-children in their restaurant, they should post a sign at the door
stating, "No infants or children allowed." It would save an unknowing
parent such as me the harassment of being indirectly told multiple times
while dining there that my child was unwelcome.

Please share this message with others you know. As for Tom and I, we will
never again dine there again and hope you'll join us in demonstrating that
behavior such as that will not be rewarded with our continued patronage.

Thanks,
Name withheld.

I think this is terrible. If you do not post your no-kids rule don't be surprised if people bring their kids in. If they do bring their kids in and you seat them you'd better treat them like royalty because that's where your tip is coming from. Not to mention the fact that these are the patrons who allow your business to stay open. People like this are the reason family restaurants are the most prevalent eateries around. It's hard to find babysitters and even still, some people enjoy eating out with their children. I find ill-behaved children in restaurants as irritating as the next person, but that is really a parent issue. Kids will behave badly whenever they are allowed so the blame must lie with the parents allowing it. My husband and I have decided never to gift such a miserable place with our business and I urge you all to do likewise. This guy and his staff need to know that it is never acceptable to treat your customers in such a disrespectful, ungrateful, childish and innapropriate manner. Let's hit him where it hurts. In the bank account!

Here he is!!

 
 
 


These are the pics that we took home from the ultrasound. This is probably the only time it is appropriate or forgivable for me to puposely post a photo of one of my children that exposes his genitals so I will hopefully still have this blog when the first girlfriends are being brought home. Did you catch that? One of my children. Isn't that the coolest thing?!?!? I'm going to have two!!! Two beautiful little boys to love! The more I think about it the more excited I get. I really can't wait to see them together. They are already together in my heart but to have them together in my house, my sight, my arms, my life will be so wonderful and amazing I can't fathom it. I used to be afraid that if we had another baby I wouldn't be able to love Corbin as much as I do. I was afraid that I would hurt him by wanting to give all I had to a helpless new little person and that he would be left out in the cold and know it. I know better now. I already love this new baby but it hasn't taken away from my love for Corbin at all. It's still there and still as strong and huge and overwhelming as it ever was. This isn't to say that he doesn't drive me crazy, he does. But as my son, and a 5-year-old, that is his job. I love him anyway. I know that I will be able to be a good mom to both of them and that, with a wonderful daddy like Brandon in the house neither of them will ever have reason to feel left out in the cold. My SIL, the smarty-pants, told me all of this at one point although not word for word or anything. I confess I didn't get it. I didn't think she was making it up, or that she was incorrect, I just didn't have the capacity to understand it. I must have still been in my baby honeymoon with Corbin or something. You know, that place where your brain can't fully grasp anything that is about something other than your only baby. Corb monopolized our minds and lives like that for a long time. It was fun, but I was happy to grow a life that had adult aspects in it. Now I don't think that will happen again, at least not to the same degree. I think this is actually healthier. I want to love my kids, think about them and be dedicated to doing what is best for them. I don't want to be totally obsessed with them. What's more, I'm not sure they would really enjoy me being obsessed with them in the long run. I have met parents who are obsessed with their children and it isn't a pretty sight. The kids grew up screwed up and the parents got one heck of a raw deal. I'm going to endeavor to love my kids bit still allow them to be seperate beings and to have some independance. And me too.

Drumroll please.....

It's a boy!!!

We are really excited!! We didn't really care either way, although we were really enjoying picking on each other about it! Baby boy is measuring right on schedule and very active and healthy already. Everything just looked great and that's so wonderful. We are so amazed that we are finally here after all the ick we went through and to see how perfect and healthy he is gives us such strong feelings of thankfulness and awe. Corb was slightly disappointed that it's not a girl (I know, what the heck??) and quickly lost interest which is good in my mind. I think it shows that he's pretty secure with this whole thing and that we've succeeded in not making it any bigger than it needs to be. So far, it's only me that's having a slight obsession with the idea. I'm in a haze of "we need to" as in, we need to pick a name, we need to get the room ready (sharing with Corb, so should be a pain) we need to get new (fill in the blank)etc etc....

Driving hubby crazy, basically. Not feeling guilty though, he deserves it.

Anyway, we are open to suggestions as far as names. We have a hard time with boy names so anything interesting (not insane though) will be gratefully considered. We are trying to avoid anything that starts with a "C" or a "K" or the sounds of those. I stutter enough without making it worse by having sons with way-too-similar names. Plus, with new baby comes severe brain-deadedness. I try not to sound too stupid in public, so nothing similar to Corbin. I will be keeping a file of possibilities to discuss with Brandon and he's really liking the idea. The only *rule* to this little suggestion-collecting game is that nobody is allowed to get all butt-hurt and pissy if their name isn't chosen or is rejected. We are taking suggestions not entries in a contest. Your name doesn't get chosen based on votes or merit or composition, it merely gets accepted or rejected based only on our opinions, which may or may not be totally stupid according to your standards anyway. If you can't remain objective and have fun with it you probably shouldn't play and you certainly shouldn't tell me the name you would have given your perfect dream child if only your spouse had agreed and then be crushed when I think it's silly. On the other hand, if you tell us a name and we love it so much we just have to give it to the baby you will have the immense pleasure of being able to tell people that we gave our son the name YOU gave us. How cool will that be?

So let's get the names rolling!

Last Chance!!!

So, Wednesday morning at 9:00 am we go to have our ultrasound where we will (hopefully) find out the gender of our little bean. This means that this is your last chance to chime in and tell me what you think our little bean might be. Boy? Girl? Rottweiler puppies? VW bug? Do tell! I'd love to know what your instincts are telling you!

Make your opinion known!

For someone in need...

This is for a blogger that I recently began to read. A single mom to twins who has just lost her husband to pancreatic cancer. To those of you so inclined, light her a candle, will you?


For Snickollet. My heart goes out to you.

Well, there ya go.

 

I'm so not fond of having my picture taken. In fact, this would be the reaction I usually have to having my picture taken. I bet you didn't know I was so proficient at rolling my eyes.

Or, maybe you are because you know my personality.